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POPSObama To Receive Special Nobel Prize For Replacing Einstein's Theory "Now is that solid or ain't it solid? I mean, except for that fart?" "It's solid!" "No little energy atoms with electrons, wantons and morons!" The president then explained what an idiot Einstein actually was but everyone thought he was smart because he knew a lot of long words. So you heard it here first. President Barack Hussein Obama has won a special Nobel Prize, replacing and disgracing that egghead, Einstein and his energy theory. Obama went on to say, "Look we is all mad up of those atoms and electrons...they repel each other...they are racist....its all relative...you know there are 11 other universes...me and Michelle are hoping to retire to one of them."
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POPSFACTS ON FARTS Including all the ones you don't want to know, you need to go to the site for all the answers. Some are pretty tacky, some are hilarious.
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POPSAnother great idea from Al Gore "You'll notice the change in just a few weeks", stated Fartologist, Mariah Ballbouncer. "Plus you'll get some cash that will help spur the economy." How much cash? One estimate is that a good size fart bag full to exploding is worth a fiver, a fin for a fart. Once again, Spokesman Al Gore was quoted as saying: "A mask will be supplied to anyone who doesn't want to be recognized. I assume that that will be the ladies as guys actually seem proud of polluting our air. I guess it's a macho thing, something I have never had trouble with." The U.S. Congress is expected to vote on the tissue...issue just as soon as President Obama returns from his vacation, but do wish to warn the public not to be "saving them up" as they could injure themselves.
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POPSHonolulu Seeks to Fine Bus Riders With Body Odor ok i have a few questions about this. Will there be a gadget by where you put money for you to stick armpit on to check if your ok or not ? What if you fart !!!!!!!! omg $500 fart fines. nobody will be allowed to eat beans before getting on a bus. mind is swimming........lmao
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POPSThere is Now a Scientific Way to Measure Smelly Farts "The contraption could even have use outside of fraternity houses, Clain says, as a biosensor for harmful hydrogen-sulfide-producing bacteria in hospitals. Or dentists could use it to measure oral malodor. They’ve also received some interest from doctors with four-legged patients. “You can test the health of livestock through the quality of their farts,” Salas says. “Smell and sound can tell you a lot about their bowel movements.” When it came time to present the invention in class, though, Clain and Salas had to test their detector by making raspberry sounds and breathing on it—human exhalations contain enough hydrogen sulfide to trigger the sensor. “It’s hard to fart something really smelly on command,” Clain laments. “Besides, it provided a nicer atmosphere for those around us.” Still, their professor saw fit to award the project a well-deserved A."
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POPS"World's Oldest" A team of academics from the University of Wolverhampton have discovered the world’s most ancient gag. Guess what it’s about? Yep. Farts. “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap,” goes the joke, which apparently dates back to ancient Sumeria circa 1900 BC. World’s Oldest Flute (35,000-year-old) discovered, according to archaeologists, offering the latest evidence that early modern humans in Europe had established a complex and creative culture. A team led by University of Tuebingen archaeologist Nicholas Conard assembled the flute from 12 pieces of griffon vulture bone scattered in a small plot of the Hohle Fels cave in southern Germany. Together, the pieces comprise a 8.6-inch instrument with five holes and a notched end. Conard said the flute was 35,000 years old
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POPSCreate a profitable iPhone app Making an apple app is easy with new services. The trick is picking the subject. Who knew a fart could bring in hundreds of thousands of dollars!
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POPSIrish Boffins reach conclusion on cow farts
But there may be no need for all that, says Dr Lorraine Lillis of University College Dublin. She and her team of top Irish guff boffins have recently carried out a trial in which three cows were fed a special diet including fish oil rich in omega-3 fatty acids, and had their noxious bottomnal emissions sequestered for analysis. The special fish-fuelled cow farts, according to Lillis, contained 21 per cent less methane than everyday bovine flatulence products. "The fish oil affects the methane-producing bacteria in the rumen part of the cow's gut, leading to reduced emissions," said Lillis, speaking at a microbiology conference in Harrogate today. "Understanding which microbial species are particularly influenced by changes in diet and relating them to methane production could bring about a more targeted approach to reducing methane emissions in animals." However, simply using fish oil as in the trial might be a bit troublesome. "Fish oil is expensive and difficult to get
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POPSOur tax dollars at work...lol Measuring Cow Burps in Fight Against Climate Change...... this almost as bad as those $500 a piece fountain pens we pay for. Whats next a study on how many times a sparrow farts
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POPSMicrobe-powered ‘fart’ machine stores energy A device that can both improve fuel cell technology and entertain 12-year-old boys. That's what I call the modern biathlon. All in all a very ingenious and creative way to use micro organisms for our benefit.
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POPSFootballer given yellow card for "breaking wind" distraction Not for breaking wind, but for the distraction. Despite finishing down to eight men, thanks to another dismissal, Villa beat International Manchester 6-4 in the amateur match in Stretford. The club now faces fines of £97 for three dismissals and two bookings. The referee, who asked not to be named, said: "The players who I sent off did obey my instructions and left the field. They were not a nasty lot. It was just a normal day at the office. No one physically assaulted me and they took the sendings off."
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POPSFish Oil Changes Composition of Cow Farts That's great. But the last I heard, we were on the verge of running out of fish. Let's just eat all the cows, which will give the fish a chance to regenerate a little bit, and plant all those pastures with beans and quinoa. The extra can be turned back into forests. You don't need cows to get protein.
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POPSFish Oil Changes Composition of Cow Farts That's great. But the last I heard, we were on the verge of running out of fish. Let's just eat all the cows, which will give the fish a chance to regenerate a little bit, and plant all those pastures with beans and quinoa. The extra can be turned back into forests. You don't need cows to get protein.
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POPS Chairman Zero’s Gift to OPEC that would increase electricity costs by up to 400% and cost 4,000,000 jobs. (I guess fewer people working means fewer people “polluting.”) Environmental extremists have to be pleased with Chairman Zero’s actions. Hugo Chavez, Mahmoud Ahmadinejihad, and the bin Ladens must be thrilled. For the rest of us, who don’t get to use government provided cars, helicopters, and jets for transportation … and for the tens of thousands of workers who won’t be getting jobs in the oil fields… we should not be happy about this. Chairman Zero's environmental policy: Environmental groups are fellated while consumers take it in the rear.
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POPSAoleon The Martian Girls This is a fun gaming and fan community portal that pays homage to Aoleon The Martian Girl. Here, you can chat, watch movies, adopt a virtual pet, and play over 1,000 free Flash games.
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POPSHow to get out of this one??!
That being said, Monday I was speeding to her house from work. I was on a local highway and about 5 minutes from her house when the blue lights blinded my eyes from my rear-view mirror. Damn, I've just been pulled over. The officer walked up to my car, asked how I was doing, then the usual "license and registration, please". Nothing out of the ordinary. I carry a gun for my profession and still had it strapped to my side, so I showed him my work ID and gun permit BEFORE whipping out the gun and saying: "Here's my gun! I'm allowed to carry one!" Phew, won't do that one again. After looking over the permit, he eyeballed my crotch. "I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car, sir. Keep your hands where I can see them." Either he's a gay cop, or he has a problem with the gun. I was asked to put my hands on the roof of the car. He pulled my 357 out of its holder. "I'm going to hold onto this while I run your license, if you don't mind. You can step back i
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