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POPSA Little Humor. Maybe very little. They're old jokes but what the heck. I'm having a slow clips day. Would that be called an "E-CLIPS"?
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POPSDay 9 of the War, Sunday, January 4, 2009
The daughter-in-law arrived at the family's home an hour before the bombing. When Nizar Riyan saw that she arrived, he laughed and asked her, "why did you come, do you want to die as a "shihada" (a martyr)?" Of course, she answered in the affirmative. A bit later, Riyan and his children swapped jokes about death and martyrdom. Riyan complained that his children aren't prepared to die with him, yet the stated they were prepared. "We will live together, or die together", his children said. His youngest son said that he wassn't willing to live without his father, so he also wanted to die a martyr like is father, and enter paradise in the afterlife. Afterwards, some of his children said that the bodies of the casualties are taken to the morgue and kept in a freezer. "I want to be buried right after I'm killed, so I can go straight to heaven", said Riyan. Afterwards, his daughter-in-law left the house, and the house was bombed by the IAF, killing Riyan and his family.
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POPS RIcky Gervais Defends His Fat Jokes It's not the same thing though, is it? Gay people are born that way. They didn't work at becoming gay. Fat people became fat because they would rather be that way than stop eating so much. They had to eat and eat to get fat. Then, when they were fat they had to keep up the eating to stay fat. For gayness to be the same as fatness, gay people would have to start off straight but then ween themselves onto cock. Soon they're noshing all day getting gayer and gayer. They've had more than enough cock... they're full... they're just sucking for the sake of it. Now they're overgay, and frowned upon by people who can have the occasional cock but not over indulge.
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POPSTommy Cooper Jokes - A Celebration Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom! --------------------------------------------------------------------- So I went to the dentist. He said 'Say Aaah.' I said 'Why?' He said 'My dog's died.' --------------------------------------------------------------------- So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.' ------------------------------------------------------------------- So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.' --------------------------------------------------------------------- So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'
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POPSThe Comedy Stylings of Shecky McCain At the time, McCain’s spokesperson (Torrie Clark, yes, that one) alleged that this was story was some manipulation by the Richard Kimball campaign. Yep, it’s always the other guy’s fault. I wonder if the reporter on that story, Norma Coile, was treated to the screaming phone call that McCain has treated so many local reporters to when they dare write a negative story about him. UPDATE - Because you demanded it, here is a PDF of the original article from 1986.
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POPSI used to be I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained. I used to be a road digger, but I got re-trenched. I used to be a sanitation engineer, but the city dumped me. I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive. I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot. I used to work at Starbucks, but I got tired of the daily grind. I used to be a tailor, but found the work to be just so-so. I used to be a taxi driver, but found I couldn't hack it. I used to be a teacher, but found I didn't have enough class. I used to be a tennis instructor, but it just wasn't my racket. I used to be a train driver but I got sidetracked. I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn't in it. I used to be a Velcro salesman, but couldn't stick with it. I considered going into the ministry but I didn't have an altar ego. I tried working in a bakery, but was told I wasn't "bread" for it. I thought becoming a candle maker, but I wasn't sure wick end
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POPS12 funny quotes “There are no good roles for Indians in Hollywood, unless you’re shooting at Jack Bauer or looking for White Castle.” - Mark Saldana “What do you think you should do if you’re attacked by a bear? Play dead? No — that’s a lie promoted by the bears.” - Eugene Mirman “Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love. That’s why I no longer eat raisins.” - Zach Galifianakis “I’m living with a crazy midget. Crazy people talk to themselves, laugh at their own jokes and s--t themselves. That’s my son.” - Jo Koy
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POPS4 tips for a longer life The man is quite restless, but the doctor continues, "Do you have sex?" "Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife!" he adds hurriedly. "As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None." The man is appalled. "Doc...Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?" "I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure you it is going to seem like an eternity!"
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POPSA friend in need When the time came to really kiss someone else's ass, he wouldn't do it (he probably wouldn't mind his ass kissed).
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