clipped from www.stumbleupon.com

Some of us have invisible signs on our foreheads that say a variety of things like, “please give me the crappiest table in the restaurant” or “I know there are 1000 cars in your lot but would you please put in me another tan Ford Taurus”. I have read stories in magazines about people who get seated next to a long, lean, leggy supermodel on a flight and have a romantic connection leading to a lusty liaison in some alpine villa. Well the sign I have on my head is “if you weigh over 400 pounds and smell like micro waved herring, please sit next to me”. I have long given up hope of having the seat next to me empty, now I spend the boarding process in a series of prayers to various gods to please, please, please don’t let that be the guy or gal sitting next to me as I watch sasquatch walking down the aisle.