DO YOU FEEL MISERABLE AND GUILTY? YOU SHOULD--BECAUSE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! OBVIOUSLY, IN THE PAST YEAR YOU DIDN'T CARE ENOUGH!
"I'm just as miserable as you, but I'm only one person," you whine. "What can I do?"
I'm glad you're miserable - and that you whined, my friend--for that means you are a true Progressive! But that is not enough. You MUST raise awareness about how miserable you are and how much you care! You MUST call everyone's attention to the issues of grave concern to all of us who worry what others might say about us a hundred years from now!
You MUST make a resolution that every day of this year, you will make at least ten people around you feel guilty and miserable. Spread the guilt! We are here to help!