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David Letterdog's List of Things Dogs Cannot Do While Sitting
- Jump up, lick, paw, bump, or goose family, friends, visitors, or strangers, especially including the young and the elderly.
- Bolt out of the front door or car.
- Run off in the park.
- Chase cars, cats, chickens, children, bicyclists, skate-boarders, horses, and other dogs.
- Bully, bother, pester, or disturb people or other dogs.
- Get underfoot, stepped on, or tripped over.
- Mount other dogs, or be mounted by other dogs.
- Slap a child in the face, or clear a coffee table of wine glasses with a waggy tail.
- Fence-fight or scrap through the garden fence.
- Pace back and forth, chase its tail, or self-energize by running around like a whirling dervish from window to couch, from couch to carpet, and from carpet to window, etc., while working itself into a feverish frenzy.
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