10. Any attention you get is bad attention
9. You get stood up at the mall… On Halloween..?
8. You’re gigantic
7. Your moobs are bigger and faker than Jenna Jameson’s
6. Signs know what you’re thinking
5. You go LARPing and you look like Don Vito
4. Delusions of grandeur
3. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be hardcore
2. Adolf keeps jacking your seat when you take a piss
1. They won’t let you in the bar so you make your own