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POPSFunny stereotype essay on our visiting German market
You know those dystopian films that speculate about what England would have been like if the Germans had won the war? Well, they’d have made it into a theme park. Winter Wonderland, in London’s Hyde Park, is precisely what occupied Britain would have felt like if the EU had turned out to be the Volksunion. They try to tell you it’s a traditional Bavarian winter market transported to London with fraternal greetings for our edification and jollity, but oh, ho, ho, ho, it’s not. It’s the Santa has landed. It’s Blitz Noel. From a distance, it all looks like a regular fair: the carousels and Ferris wheels and a V-2 launch pad, the flashing lights and the colours, the familiar screams, the perennial Chrimbo game of spot the paedo with his festive sack and gaffer tape. But it’s not what it seems. I don’t like it, sergeant. The shifty young gypsies working the rides are just too blonde. Too disciplined and polite. They don’t smirk or stick their hands up your girlfriend’s frock on the dodgems.
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