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POPSObama To Receive Special Nobel Prize For Replacing Einstein's Theory "Now is that solid or ain't it solid? I mean, except for that fart?" "It's solid!" "No little energy atoms with electrons, wantons and morons!" The president then explained what an idiot Einstein actually was but everyone thought he was smart because he knew a lot of long words. So you heard it here first. President Barack Hussein Obama has won a special Nobel Prize, replacing and disgracing that egghead, Einstein and his energy theory. Obama went on to say, "Look we is all mad up of those atoms and electrons...they repel each other...they are racist....its all relative...you know there are 11 other universes...me and Michelle are hoping to retire to one of them."
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POPSChomsky Says Obama Continues Bush Policy to Control Middle East Oil
“As late as November, 2007, the U.S. was still insisting that the ‘Status of Forces Agreement’ allow for an indefinite U.S. military presence and privileged access to Iraq’s resources by U.S. investors,” Chomsky added. “Well, they didn’t get that on paper at least. They had to back down,” Alabbasi quotes him as saying. Chomsky said Middle East oil reserves are understood to be “a stupendous source of strategic power” and “one of the greatest material prizes in world history.” Concerning Iran, Chomsky said the U.S. acted to overthrow its parliamentary democracy in 1953 “to retain control of Iranian resources” and when the Iranians reasserted themselves in 1979, the U.S. acted “to support Saddam Hussein’s merciless invasion” of that country. “The torture of Iran continued without a break and still does, with sanctions and other means,” Chomsky said. According to Alabbasi, Chomsky “mocked the idea” presented by mainstream media that a nuclear-armed Iran might attack nuclear-armed
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POPSObama dragged into university race row after student is crowned first white beauty queen The five judges crowned her over the nine other contestants - all of whom were black. She was the first white woman to win the title at the university. But the backlash began almost immediately, with some of the audience walking out of the auditorium as the announcement was made. In a traditional winners' photograph, two of the black runners-up are seen scowling into the camera. The next day Ms Churchill was heckled at a university football game. Previous winner Patrece Parson said she was 'very shocked' at the judge's choice of a white woman, adding: 'We've never had one before'. Miss Churchill said: "Many of my friends are nigras...my maid is a big black mammy and you know...some of them can even read and write...amazing!
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POPSHannibal Lecter's plan endorsed by Obama President Obama had not released any details of his proposal, a proposal that many feared would have ended up under review by the Supreme Court, as it would seem to violate the entirety of the U.S. Constitution, not to mention being what he had campaigned against. That's when Dr. Lecter came out of his self-imposed seclusion to lend a hand. "If you simply bring me the detainees, I will house them in my secure basement facility, as many as I can accomodate, and distribute such that I cannot to...let us say...like-minded associates with proven experience in confinement methodologies.", said Dr. Lecter in a memorandum submitted to the White House yesterday. The "associates" the doctor refers to are believed to be a well trained and experienced group of psychopathic serial killers, who's basements have already been modified in a manner that would make a SuperMax seem like a child's playpen. Initial reaction was favorable, especially amongst Corrections officers from Leavenworth to Si
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POPSAnother lost Gospel found When Obama became a man he took Mary Michaela as his wife, and she was beautiful, and her wedding gift was a huge ass that could be seen for miles around their town of Bethlago. And Obama went to a temple and began preaching, and many were amazed that he spoke such sooth, saying 'Rabbi, rabbi, can you turn this water into some Paul-masson Chardonn'ay?' But Obama rebuked them, saying 'Let us not, at this point of time, pay heed to what are, in essence, mere beverages, and, we can now say with some certainty, are foodstuffs that, in time, will not necessarily raise our spiritual awareness for, as we now know, we have come to this moment where we can, in fact, make our views heard. Yes we can!' And grown men wept in amazement at such profound thoughts, though a few of the women of Bethlago muttered such things as 'He soundeth like a 10-year old talking through a pig's bladder', and 'Bring back King David Burning-Bush, at least he was funny'.
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POPSObama and the Nobel Prize: When War becomes Peace At this critical juncture in our history, the Norwegian Nobel Committee's decision to award the Nobel Peace Prize to President and Commander in Chief Barack Obama constitutes an unmitigated tool of propaganda and distortion, which unreservedly supports the Pentagon's "Long War": "A War without Borders" in the true sense of the word, characterised by the Worlwide deployment of US military might. Apart from the diplomatic rhetoric, there has been no meaningful reversal of US foreign policy in relation to the George W. Bush presidency, which might have remotely justified the granting of the Nobel Prize to Obama. In fact quite the opposite. The Obama military agenda has sought to extend the war into new frontiers. With a new team of military and foreign policy advisers, the Obama war agenda has been far more effective in fostering military escalation than that formulated by the NeoCons. Since the very outset of the Obama presidency, this global military project has become increasin
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POPSBarack Obama: "Yes, I hunted and killed Bigfoot!" To sum things up for the media, his press secretary said, "Look, Barack Obama is for everything this week!" When quiried abot the actual killing of the elusive Bigfoot and where the actual body was, Mr. Obama claims he really didn't 'kill' the Yeti, but wounded him in the arm. He tearfuly expressed his sorrow for wounding the beast as a camera crew from PETA caught the tearful confession. When the animal extremist crew left, Obama turned his attention to the reporters who were setting up to record his hunting statements. Reporters pressed him for more details about his hunting exploits. Questions ranged from..."Where did you hunt in Chicago?" to... "What caliber bullets he used in his shotgun?" Mr. Obama stumbled on the last question and had to ask an aide "what a shotgun was". The aide hastily pulled out a Bass-Pro hunting catalog flyer and showed him a picture of a kid's Daisy BB gun, which the smiling Barack 'Barry' Obama confidently pointed to as the type of weapon he s
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POPSWhy Obama Should Not Have Received the Peace Prize — Yet Any one of these would have been worthy of global praise. Perhaps the Nobel committee can give him half the prize now and withhold the other half until he accomplishes one or more of these crucial missions. robert reich Why Obama Should Not Have Received the Peace Prize YetGiving the Peace Prize to the President before any of these goals has been attained only underscores the paradox of Obama at this early stage of his presidency. He has demonstrated mastery in both delivering powerful rhetoric and providing the nation and the world with fresh and important ways of understanding current challenges. But he has not yet delivered. To the contrary, he often seems to hold back from the fight — temporizing, delaying, or compromising so much that the rhetoric and insight he offers seem strangely disconnected from what he actually does. Yet there’s time. He may yet prove to be one of the best presidents this nation has ever had — worthy not only of the Peace Prize but of every global accol
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POPSObama College Transcripts Leaked Another interesting course taken was Urination: Theory and Practice. The intellectual stimulating course taught Mr. Obama everything about urination from beginning to end. He was really hoping information about this course would never 'leak' out. Mr. Obama's most demanding course was Dictators and Democracy 401. In this course the future president learned to jut his jaw like Mussolini and to bow down to Saudi kings. He also got an A in this course. The president plans to take some post-graduate courses at Columbia after his term expires. He plans to take Speaking Without A TelePrompter 501, although he doesn't expect to pass it without a lot of work. President Obama also received an A+ in Clogdancing and a B in Origami.
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POPSObama Plan, Nation's Sick To Be Transferred to "Health Camps" Radical, experimental medical "procedures" would be made readily available as a means of attaining a final solution to a patient's problem, while also furthering the canon of medical knowledge for the doctors. The camps would also feature ample opportunity for physical activity outdoors, very condensed sleeping quarters to allow patrons to more closely interact with one another, and even luxurious "day-spas." These spas would let clients relax in an enclosed, private environment and breathe in the therapeutic mists which aromatically pervade the room. All of this to be enjoyed wearing nothing but a towel and with mud on your face. "It's a gas," said Obama of the spa facilities.
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POPSStop Begging Obama and Get Mad The right wing is not wrong. It is not the problem. We are the problem. If we do not tap into the justifiable anger sweeping across the nation, if we do not militantly push back against corporate fraud and imperial wars that we cannot win or afford, the political vacuum we have created will be filled with right-wing lunatics and proto-fascists. The goons will inherit power not because they are astute, but because we are weak and inept. Violence is a dark undercurrent of American history. It is exacerbated by war and economic decline. Violence is spreading outward from the killing fields in Iraq and Afghanistan to slowly tear apart individuals, families and communities. There is no immunity. The longer the wars continue, the longer the members of our working class are transformed by corporate overlords into serfs, the more violence will dominate the landscape. The slide into chaos and a police state will become inevitable. The soldiers and Marines who return from Iraq and Afghanis
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POPSObama Speaks: US Commits Collective Suicide The few talking heads left alive agree that the actions of the President were reprehensible. "Any right thinking, God fearing American," they opined, "Would do exactly as these brave parents have done. Enough is enough. The creep of insidious left-wing liberal commie sympathizers into all areas of our lives must be stopped by any means necessary." Sarah Palin was reported to be on a hunting trip..shooting moose, bears and environmentally threatened frogs and could not be reached for comment. From wherever he currently finds himself, Joseph McCarthy smiled.
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POPS14 Things You Need to Know About Obama Heckler, Rep. Joe Wilson 2. Wilson is a member of the organization, Sons of Confederate Veterans, reports Dave Niewert of Crooks and Liars, which "as the Southern Poverty Law Center has detailed assiduously, has been taken over in the past decade by radical neo-Confederates who favor secession and defend slavery as a benign institution." (Not that Wilson's affiliation has anything to do with his unprecedented heckling, during a presidential address before a joint session of Congress, of our first African-American president.) 3. Wilson served as an aide to the late segregationist Senator Strom Thurmond, who is credited with conducting the longest filibuster in Senate history -- against the 1957 civil rights bill. Rest of article at site
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POPSBo, the White House Dog 'Dumped' The baths, used up to 5 times a day during the spiritual holiday, before each prayer call, became a constant chore for the Secret Service Agents delegated to insure that the bath water was always at the right temperature, and purer than the bottled imported water favoured by the First Lady. Bo, the lovable retriever, who remained largely ignored after the first few photo ops in the rose garden, was forced to entertain himself due to lack of attention. Imagine his delight, when during investigation for discarded chicken and rib bones under the Obama Dining Table, he was able to find 17 private pools for his canine delight! Bo, who is black, is said to be happy in his new home and doesn't feel that his 'dumping' was racially motivated.
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POPSLast Safe Haven for Savings Threatened! Manny Levine, CEO and founder of "Snooze, Inc", the nation's largest mattress manufacturing company, said the move was "nothing more than a power play by the current administration to get in bed with our customers and control how they handle their money!" White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs said the move was an emergency measure to combat "hoarding" on behalf of American Taxpayers, "who are not doing their part to bring back the sagging economy!" Gibbs said people, as well as corporations, were holding on to a large portion of recent stimulus checks, and not putting the handouts back into the economy. "The only people spending money," he said forcefully, " is the government! This is un american, and detrimental to this administration's long term goal of control and reshaping of the economy and our economic system." Bennie Emanuel, one of the 5 Emanuel brothers advising Obama said," our radical changeover of the American Way will fail unless every single taxpayer goes broke! Onl
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POPSMichelle Obama in White House witchcraft shock an old unicorn and a signed photograph of Mia Farrow from Polanski's 1968 film Rosemary's Baby. A frogskin diary, hidden inside an almanac of equinoxes and solstices reveals that Michelle Obama, the glamorous 5ft 11in Harvard-educated power behind the presidential throne - has been practising witchcraft for at least 5 years. Inside the front cover of the diary was discovered a photograph of Barack wearing a 'Horny President' T-shirt, taken years before he was even involved in mainstream politics. Also discovered by federal agents were recent scorch marks on the floor of the oval office and evidence of sacrificial rituals on the White House lawn. "I always said that Obama won the Presidency by unfair means", screamed wannabe boss Sarah Palin. "That Michelle bitch cast a spell on the whole planet and everyone's gone and fallen into her clever little cauldron", growled the aggrieved Republican glamour-girl. "I say they should confiscate all that witch's equipment and have a ne
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POPSObama Mother-In-Law Practicing Voodoo The voodoo magic has upset Mr. Obama, but he has no powers over his mother-in-law. Ms. Robinson could care less what he thinks. "Who do you think made his ears stick out like that!" she laughed. "Why do you think he has not farted in two months"?
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POPSTHE 9-11 DECEPTION This thin layer of super-thermite was evidently used to pulverize the concrete in the twin towers on 9-11. The people who applied tens of tons of thermite to the interiors of the twin towers are, in fact, directly responsible for the murder of 3,000 people on 9-11. If Al Qaida had teams of men spraying super-thermite and placing explosive charges in the buildings leased and owned by Larry Silverstein and the Israeli commando Frank Lowy, let's see the evidence. Otherwise, let's find out who really put the super-thermite in the twin towers. The United States went to war in Afghanistan out of "necessity," Obama said, yet the American public has not been given any solid evidence to prove that the Taliban of Afghanistan had anything to do with 9-11. Why then is the Zionist-run Obama administration sending more troops to Afghanistan? And why have they expanded the war into Pakistan? I have discussed in several articles the powerful Zionists behind the Obama White House. Obama w
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POPSObama Health Care Endorses Cannibalism who energetically supported a plea from a 1972 Andes airplane crash survivor where 16 soccer team mates lived after 72 days of dining off the corpses of their companions until help arrived. Obama embraced survivor Jose Louis "Coohe" Inciarte in his efforts to promote organ donation as a key stone of his revolving health care plan. "No longer will you have to lament the humane death of your grandma," the President said, " for her heart will live on!" A Fox news reporter was shouted down when he attempted to link this comment with tribal Zulu warriors practice of eating the raw heart of vanquished enemies killed in battles. Outside the front yard was filled with protesters with hastily made signs proclaiming "Don't Eat My Grandma"....and other signs commenting " Eat Shit, But Not My Sister!" Rahm Emanuel was said to have jumped all over the opportunity to promote the new policy, in part encouraged by the recent arrest of New Jersey Rabbis accused of trading in fresh kidney
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POPSPresident Obama and The Three Amigos Mexican Summit The agenda called for the three men to discuss four main topics: 1. NAFTA and what the second A really stands for. 2. The Swine Flu Epidemic aka H1N1 which started down in the vicinity of the Mexican volcano El Popocatepetl (The Petey). 3. The unbelievably high price of tequila. 4. The Mexican Drug Cartels and the ongoing violence that makes Al Capone's 1920s Chicago seem like Disneyland. Other secondary topical topics scheduled on the agenda include: 1. The Canadian Mallard Ducks for Mexican Burros Trade Agreement. 2. The Republic of Mexico's request to be allowed to purchase all of the Taco Bells in the United States. 3. The possibility of moving the NBA's Chicago Bulls to Toluca and renaming them the Toluca Toros. 4. The Canadian Mounties and Mexican Matadors Exchange Program. 5. The U.S. - Mexico investigation as to why in the world ex-President Horge (George) Bush was allowed to waste American taxpayers's money totaling $89 billion on a stupid useless
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POPSObama fights back as bid to reform US healthcare stalls "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down's syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide… whether they are worthy of healthcare," she wrote on her Facebook page. Palin's astonishing comments were an incendiary contribution to a national debate that is threatening to spill over into civil disorder. Scores of "town hall" public meetings held by Democratic politicians in recent days have been disrupted by Republican supporters or protesters linked to groups funded by the healthcare industry. Some meetings have been cancelled out of a fear of violence. In Missouri six people were arrested at one event. A group of supporters even hung an effigy of a Democratic congressman outside his office; another Democrat has received death threats.
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POPSObama Family To Vacation In West Philly Crackhouse The backyard is just waiting for someone with a green thumb. Michelle Obama will have many wonderful hours cleaning out the bags of trash that the previous tenants tossed out the window. The weeds, used condoms and empty crack vials will keep her and the girls busy for days. If they are lucky, they might even find some human remains scattered around the yard. The Obama Family will especially enjoy the hot, humid Philadelphia nights without air conditioning or electricity. The drive-by shootings, drug dealings and general insanity will be so entertaining for them, they won't even want to sleep. The relaxing month-long vacation will be a stress-free break, and the family will return to Washington in September with many wonderful stories to share about their unusual experiences in the City of Brotherly Love.
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POPSBarack Obama faces 30 death threats a day Most however, are kept under wraps because the Secret Service fears that revealing details of them would only increase the number of copycat attempts. Although most threats are not credible, each one has to be investigated meticulously.
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