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POPSObama To Receive Special Nobel Prize For Replacing Einstein's Theory "Now is that solid or ain't it solid? I mean, except for that fart?" "It's solid!" "No little energy atoms with electrons, wantons and morons!" The president then explained what an idiot Einstein actually was but everyone thought he was smart because he knew a lot of long words. So you heard it here first. President Barack Hussein Obama has won a special Nobel Prize, replacing and disgracing that egghead, Einstein and his energy theory. Obama went on to say, "Look we is all mad up of those atoms and electrons...they repel each other...they are racist....its all relative...you know there are 11 other universes...me and Michelle are hoping to retire to one of them."
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POPSObama dragged into university race row after student is crowned first white beauty queen The five judges crowned her over the nine other contestants - all of whom were black. She was the first white woman to win the title at the university. But the backlash began almost immediately, with some of the audience walking out of the auditorium as the announcement was made. In a traditional winners' photograph, two of the black runners-up are seen scowling into the camera. The next day Ms Churchill was heckled at a university football game. Previous winner Patrece Parson said she was 'very shocked' at the judge's choice of a white woman, adding: 'We've never had one before'. Miss Churchill said: "Many of my friends are nigras...my maid is a big black mammy and you know...some of them can even read and write...amazing!
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POPSBarack Obama: "Yes, I hunted and killed Bigfoot!"
To sum things up for the media, his press secretary said, "Look, Barack Obama is for everything this week!" When quiried abot the actual killing of the elusive Bigfoot and where the actual body was, Mr. Obama claims he really didn't 'kill' the Yeti, but wounded him in the arm. He tearfuly expressed his sorrow for wounding the beast as a camera crew from PETA caught the tearful confession. When the animal extremist crew left, Obama turned his attention to the reporters who were setting up to record his hunting statements. Reporters pressed him for more details about his hunting exploits. Questions ranged from..."Where did you hunt in Chicago?" to... "What caliber bullets he used in his shotgun?" Mr. Obama stumbled on the last question and had to ask an aide "what a shotgun was". The aide hastily pulled out a Bass-Pro hunting catalog flyer and showed him a picture of a kid's Daisy BB gun, which the smiling Barack 'Barry' Obama confidently pointed to as the type of weapon he s
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POPSDiscovering Iran's secret nuclear plant has wiped off Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's smile Holding court at his hotel, Mr Ahmadinejad said he was looking forward to "free and open" discussions during this week's meeting with six world powers on Iran's nuclear programme. But by Friday, Mr Ahmadinejad's composure looked shaken when he appeared at a news conference shortly after President Barack Obama had disclosed that Iran had been developing a second uranium enrichment facility near the holy city of Qom without bothering to inform the UN's International Atomic Energy Agency what it was up to.
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POPSObama College Transcripts Leaked Another interesting course taken was Urination: Theory and Practice. The intellectual stimulating course taught Mr. Obama everything about urination from beginning to end. He was really hoping information about this course would never 'leak' out. Mr. Obama's most demanding course was Dictators and Democracy 401. In this course the future president learned to jut his jaw like Mussolini and to bow down to Saudi kings. He also got an A in this course. The president plans to take some post-graduate courses at Columbia after his term expires. He plans to take Speaking Without A TelePrompter 501, although he doesn't expect to pass it without a lot of work. President Obama also received an A+ in Clogdancing and a B in Origami.
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POPSObama Plan, Nation's Sick To Be Transferred to "Health Camps" Radical, experimental medical "procedures" would be made readily available as a means of attaining a final solution to a patient's problem, while also furthering the canon of medical knowledge for the doctors. The camps would also feature ample opportunity for physical activity outdoors, very condensed sleeping quarters to allow patrons to more closely interact with one another, and even luxurious "day-spas." These spas would let clients relax in an enclosed, private environment and breathe in the therapeutic mists which aromatically pervade the room. All of this to be enjoyed wearing nothing but a towel and with mud on your face. "It's a gas," said Obama of the spa facilities.
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POPSIsrael 'will attack Iran this year' Iran and the major world power are to start talks on the stand off over its nuclear programme, which stands in violation of United Nations resolutions, on Oct 1. Mr Obama's offer to talk to Iran without pre-conditions has made Israel nervous that Tehran will use detente as a cover to complete its drive for an atom bomb. "If Iran gained the bomb it would trigger a regional arms race with Saudi and Egypt quickly obtaining weapons," he said. "We would be living next to three Pakistans."
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POPSStop Begging Obama and Get Mad The right wing is not wrong. It is not the problem. We are the problem. If we do not tap into the justifiable anger sweeping across the nation, if we do not militantly push back against corporate fraud and imperial wars that we cannot win or afford, the political vacuum we have created will be filled with right-wing lunatics and proto-fascists. The goons will inherit power not because they are astute, but because we are weak and inept. Violence is a dark undercurrent of American history. It is exacerbated by war and economic decline. Violence is spreading outward from the killing fields in Iraq and Afghanistan to slowly tear apart individuals, families and communities. There is no immunity. The longer the wars continue, the longer the members of our working class are transformed by corporate overlords into serfs, the more violence will dominate the landscape. The slide into chaos and a police state will become inevitable. The soldiers and Marines who return from Iraq and Afghanis
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POPSObama Speaks: US Commits Collective Suicide The few talking heads left alive agree that the actions of the President were reprehensible. "Any right thinking, God fearing American," they opined, "Would do exactly as these brave parents have done. Enough is enough. The creep of insidious left-wing liberal commie sympathizers into all areas of our lives must be stopped by any means necessary." Sarah Palin was reported to be on a hunting trip..shooting moose, bears and environmentally threatened frogs and could not be reached for comment. From wherever he currently finds himself, Joseph McCarthy smiled.
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POPS14 Things You Need to Know About Obama Heckler, Rep. Joe Wilson 2. Wilson is a member of the organization, Sons of Confederate Veterans, reports Dave Niewert of Crooks and Liars, which "as the Southern Poverty Law Center has detailed assiduously, has been taken over in the past decade by radical neo-Confederates who favor secession and defend slavery as a benign institution." (Not that Wilson's affiliation has anything to do with his unprecedented heckling, during a presidential address before a joint session of Congress, of our first African-American president.) 3. Wilson served as an aide to the late segregationist Senator Strom Thurmond, who is credited with conducting the longest filibuster in Senate history -- against the 1957 civil rights bill. Rest of article at site
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POPSBo, the White House Dog 'Dumped' The baths, used up to 5 times a day during the spiritual holiday, before each prayer call, became a constant chore for the Secret Service Agents delegated to insure that the bath water was always at the right temperature, and purer than the bottled imported water favoured by the First Lady. Bo, the lovable retriever, who remained largely ignored after the first few photo ops in the rose garden, was forced to entertain himself due to lack of attention. Imagine his delight, when during investigation for discarded chicken and rib bones under the Obama Dining Table, he was able to find 17 private pools for his canine delight! Bo, who is black, is said to be happy in his new home and doesn't feel that his 'dumping' was racially motivated.
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POPSLast Safe Haven for Savings Threatened! Manny Levine, CEO and founder of "Snooze, Inc", the nation's largest mattress manufacturing company, said the move was "nothing more than a power play by the current administration to get in bed with our customers and control how they handle their money!" White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs said the move was an emergency measure to combat "hoarding" on behalf of American Taxpayers, "who are not doing their part to bring back the sagging economy!" Gibbs said people, as well as corporations, were holding on to a large portion of recent stimulus checks, and not putting the handouts back into the economy. "The only people spending money," he said forcefully, " is the government! This is un american, and detrimental to this administration's long term goal of control and reshaping of the economy and our economic system." Bennie Emanuel, one of the 5 Emanuel brothers advising Obama said," our radical changeover of the American Way will fail unless every single taxpayer goes broke! Onl
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POPSMichelle Obama in White House witchcraft shock an old unicorn and a signed photograph of Mia Farrow from Polanski's 1968 film Rosemary's Baby. A frogskin diary, hidden inside an almanac of equinoxes and solstices reveals that Michelle Obama, the glamorous 5ft 11in Harvard-educated power behind the presidential throne - has been practising witchcraft for at least 5 years. Inside the front cover of the diary was discovered a photograph of Barack wearing a 'Horny President' T-shirt, taken years before he was even involved in mainstream politics. Also discovered by federal agents were recent scorch marks on the floor of the oval office and evidence of sacrificial rituals on the White House lawn. "I always said that Obama won the Presidency by unfair means", screamed wannabe boss Sarah Palin. "That Michelle bitch cast a spell on the whole planet and everyone's gone and fallen into her clever little cauldron", growled the aggrieved Republican glamour-girl. "I say they should confiscate all that witch's equipment and have a ne
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POPSRobinson awarded US honour "Throughout her career, in particular in her role as President of Ireland and as UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, and more recently through her work as founder of the Ethical Globalisation Initiative, Mary Robinson has been an outstanding advocate and champion for human rights and fairness for all. "Irish people everywhere are very proud of her being honoured by this award and her many achievements during a distinguished career of advocacy," he added.
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POPSObama fights back as bid to reform US healthcare stalls "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down's syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide… whether they are worthy of healthcare," she wrote on her Facebook page. Palin's astonishing comments were an incendiary contribution to a national debate that is threatening to spill over into civil disorder. Scores of "town hall" public meetings held by Democratic politicians in recent days have been disrupted by Republican supporters or protesters linked to groups funded by the healthcare industry. Some meetings have been cancelled out of a fear of violence. In Missouri six people were arrested at one event. A group of supporters even hung an effigy of a Democratic congressman outside his office; another Democrat has received death threats.
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POPSMedal of Freedom conferred on Mary Robinson It is true that the Durban World Conference Against Racism in 2001 was marred by offensive anti-Semitic words and actions, especially at the parallel meeting of nongovernmental organizations. Mary Robinson spoke out strongly at the time against these hateful attacks and refused to accept the final NGO statement to the Durban conference or to forward its recommendations to governments - both unprecedented actions by a UN official. Amazing woman...who cares if she sometimes dresses up as a man.
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POPSGeorge Fox University: Christians Lynch Barack Obama in Effigy George Fox University, by the way, was founded by Quakers — some of earliest abolitionists in America. It's a "significant achievement" to have a whole 20% minority students? This should tell us something about the school and just how white it is. How many students at George Fox University prefer a school with an even smaller minority population? How many see no difficulty in combining a racist ideology, White Supremacism, with a conservative, fundamentalist form of Christianity? It’s interesting that while conservative evangelical Christians are unequivocal in their support for racial equality, the very structures of their faith serve to perpetuate inequality. It’s true that opponents of racism, slavery, and segregation have been inspired by religious beliefs. It’s true that anti-slavery activists, like civil rights activists, organized and worked from Christian churches. If this activism has been anywhere close to the equal of activism on behalf of racism, slavery, and segregation
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POPSBarack Obama faces 30 death threats a day Most however, are kept under wraps because the Secret Service fears that revealing details of them would only increase the number of copycat attempts. Although most threats are not credible, each one has to be investigated meticulously.
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POPSObama: Trilateral Commission Endgame "Is this a mere coincidence or is it a continuation of dominance over the Executive Branch since 1976? (For important background, read The Trilateral Commission: Usurping Sovereignty.) * Secretary of Treasury, Tim Geithner * Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice * National Security Advisor, Gen. James L. Jones * Deputy National Security Advisor, Thomas Donilon * Chairman, Economic Recovery Committee, Paul Volker * Director of National Intelligence, Admiral Dennis C. Blair * Assistant Secretary of State, Asia & Pacific, Kurt M. Campbell * Deputy Secretary of State, James Steinberg * State Department, Special Envoy, Richard Haass * State Department, Special Envoy, Dennis Ross * State Department, Special Envoy, Richard Holbrooke There are many other incidental links to the Trilateral Commission, for instance, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is married to Commission member William Jefferson Clinton. Geithner's i
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POPSThe Obama opiate: Crisis deepens, crowds cheer "The destabilization of Iran, a product of massive US covert operations (and overt political manipulation) continues unabated, built upon the pretext of “restoring democracy”—a “stolen election” hoax, and an aggressive “color revolution” spearheaded by Anglo-American surrogates, aspiring puppets, and hordes of intelligence assets and so-called “liberals” touting “democracy”. The Iranian corridor remains critical, for the control of Central Asian and Middle East energy, and the Anglo-American empire is intent upon controlling it. A blatant coup in Honduras has been carried out in the classic fashion, according to the same intelligence playbook that has been at the core of US-Latin America policy since the Iran-Contra era; the same destabilization tactics used in recent years to topple the governments of Venezuela and Haiti. Domestically, Obama has endorsed the continued surveillance of the American people, and an even more ironclad electronic police state. While the average Ameri
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POPSObama To Actually Put A Man On The Moon "They can have the far side, but don't anybody repeat that or I'll deny it or say Hillery said it." "Before I close, I'd just like to thank Rev. Jeremiah Wright setting me straight on that 1969 moondoggle. That's his very words, 'a moondoggle!'"
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POPSGuantanamo inmates for Ireland While the two men were not being admitted as refugees within the terms of the Geneva Convention, Mr Ahern said he intended to adhere to the norms of official procedure in respecting the rights of the two men to their privacy. “There would not therefore be public disclosure of any personal information, family situations, nor would details of the arrangements for travel to Ireland be made public,” he said. The Minister said he made the decision to accept the men after receiving a report from a group of Irish officials last weeek on their visit to Washington and Guantanamo. Mr Ahern said he was conscious of the intention of the Obama administration to close the centre at Guantanamo Bay, “in part by transferring detainees, no longer regarded as posing a threat to security but who cannot return to their own countries, to other countries willing to accept them.” He said during his tenure as Minister for Foreign Affairs he had consistently called for the closure of the detention f
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POPSThe Power Vertical Biden said "Russia has to make some very difficult, calculated decisions" and that Washington "vastly" underestimates its hand vis-à-vis the Kremlin: The reality is the Russians are where they are. They have a shrinking population base, they have a withering economy, they have a banking sector and structure that is not likely to be able to withstand the next 15 years, they're in a situation where the world is changing before them and they're clinging to something in the past that is not sustainable. Biden went on to say that the Russian leaders "aren't absolute average-intellect ideologues who are clinging to something nobody believes in. They're pretty pragmatic in the end."
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POPSU.S. Drive For Middle East Peace Gathers Pace "That is our objective, and it is to that which we have committed ourselves fully." Mitchell earlier was in Damascus, where he took another step toward bringing Syria in from the cold. Speaking after talks with Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, Mitchell said restarting peace talks between Syria and Israel is a "near-term goal." In Washington, a White House spokesman said the Obama administration is moving to relieve the pressure of U.S. economic sanctions on Syria. Pressure On Iran Meanwhile, Defense Secretary Robert Gates had talks with Jordan's King Abdullah about the perceived threat of Iran's alleged nuclear-arms program. Iran is emerging as one of the biggest obstacles to a Mideast settlement, in that Israel says there is no point reaching a peace deal with the Palestinians until the question of a nuclear Iran is resolved. After talks with the king, Gates warned Iran that Washington would seek tough new sanctions unless Tehran responded to its invitation to a dialog
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POPSBirth Cert Lunacy Continues "If Barack Obama was an Irish American or a Polish American or a German American, there would be no discussion anywhere in this country about his citizenship," radio host E. Steven Collins told Chris Matthews on Thursday, in response to his fellow guest, deranged right-winger and Nixon Watergate operative G. Gordon Liddy, whose own attempt to defend the birthers should mark a low point, even for his career. "This is because many people in this nation cannot still accept the fact that a brilliant African-American is the commander-in-chief."
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POPSObama Needs a Shot of LBJ As distasteful as he may find doing so, Obama and his Congressional liaison staff must get in the faces of the recalcitrant members of his own party and barter, bargain or beat them into submission. It’s all well and good if the president wants to stay above the fray in his era of post-partisan politics. But why isn’t Rahm Emanuel body slamming Blue Dogs against the wall like LBJ and say, “There’s isn’t a Senator on the Hill who doesn’t want something. What do you want? We can drop our opposition to the defense budget rider you’re pushing. Money? We’ll give your state billions. Access? How about a weekend at Camp David for you and the family? What about stepping off Air Force One with the president back home?
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POPSTime for Obama to fire Hilary? "Right now, it looks like Obama is going to be following the same policies of George W. Bush, especially on the Cuba issue. His campaign slogan should be changed to "compromise that you can believe in." He may turn out to be another mediocre president, made with the same mold as Bill Clinton. In my opinion, FDR was the last "good" Democratic Party president. Every one else has been a faithful server of corporate interests. In Honduras, his State Department, headed by Hillary, continues to obfuscate and not call what happened there a coup d'etat. That way Uncle Sam can continue to provide economic and military aid to the business oligarchy that is behind General Vazquez and his gorillas. What a great disappointment Obama is turning out to be. If he continues traveling the same path, many people will stay home on November 2012."
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POPSRush Limbaugh Attacks Obama One caller got in a word about Obama going into Afghanistan with more force but Limbaugh farted right through the caller's voice and proceeded to give him a tongue lashing ending with the words, "mealy-mouthed pervert!" Limbaugh finally stated, "In conclusion, any time there's a premature pull-out, the only one who will ever support your actions in the future will be the pope!"
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