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POPSCountry vs. Commitment Speaking of commitment, Chris Crain points out that USA Today published a letter from a heterosexual woman complaining about having to be separated from her new British husband for as much as six months. That letter got a response from a gay man who told of the 17 year wait for his partner to get U.S. citizenship. After 11 years, he gave up and left the U.S (because being gay in the America can sometimes mean choosing between your country and the person you love), traveled to Hong Kong to live with his partner and spend 7years there building their life and their careers together. But Exodus International says we don't make commitments to each other. Of course we do. And we often pay a price for doing so. But we do it anyway.
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POPSTruth Can Win Out In writing about Haggard, and comparing Haggard's story to that of Neil "Doogie Houser" Patrick Harris coming out as "a very content gay man living my life to the fullest," one columnist says it better than I could. "That's the fallacy social conservatives miss. In a culture that allows gay people room to be gay people, there is no need of lies. In a culture that does not -- i.e., theirs -- lies are rampant. And that's unfortunate, not simply for the person in question, but for all the people in his or her life." But the preference seems to be for homosexuals like Haggard as opposed to Harris.
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POPSProphetic Penguins? Ecclesioleft gets all biblical on the penguin story and makes an interesting point about what could be learned from their story: "This is a teaching moment for us: how can we care for one another? ... I think we all ought to be more concerned about what we and our children aren't learning when we skip out on stories about love and support." Of course, to get there you have to make room for the notions that love and support happen in same-sex couples, that it's a good thing, and that it's something that should be encouraged because it benefits the greater good when that caring is extended to extended family, as in Rich's story. You'd have to skip out on stories of love and support that threatend to undermine the way you think the world must operate.
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POPSTwo Years And Counting Theantidesi101 notes that Saturday was the two year anniversary of the Massachusetts Supreme Court decision that brought on the destruction of civilization. Just not yet. In fact, given the marriage updates from all over the world listed this diary, it's a wonder the world is still revolving around the sun (or is it the other way around?). Not to worry, though. As more and more same-sex couples make legally recognized commitments to one another, I'm sure the prophets of doom will be proven right, just as they were on everything from women being educated and owning property, to interracial marriage. Soon. Maybe even right ...... now. No, wait.
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POPSTaking the Plunge, Without a Net I've read about lots of same-sex couples getting hitched this week; Dana and partner , Shannon and partner , Chase and partner . But it was Rich's post that really stood out to me, when he wrote about him and his partner sitting own and figuring out their shared goals, which include opening a business together, helping his niece get rhrough school, a helping both their parents financially in their old age. It occurs to me that this , of which Rich writes "We have agreed to be responsible for each other, to provide for each other, and to make long term plans together," that will be the end of civilization, accordign to people who prefer their homosexuals more like Ted Haggard or Mark Foley.
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POPSDown Mexico Way That Mexico City law recognizing same-sex marriage is under fire from Mexico's ruling conservative party. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. South of the border is south , after all. And just about as religious too.
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POPSFrom Apartheid to Equality Theantidesi notes with pride that South Africa, the land of his ancestors, has leapt ahead of the United States and Europe in granting equal rights to same-sex couples. The flip side, though, is that gays and lesbians in South Africa are still subject to violence and murder . And, yes, I lay some of that at the door of the religion that colonialism brought into Africa, since some African cultures prior to colonialism found ways of integrating same-sex orientation . Colonizers, on the other hand, severely punished indigenous people for same-sex activity .
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POPSDid Gays Deliver the Senate for Dems? It looks like they might have in Virgina where people mobilized (unsuccessfully) to defeat the anti-gay marriage amendment. I blogged earlier about how Virginia's amendment may have backfired on Republicans by bringing more African American voters to the polls, who were likely to vote for the amendment but against George Allen. Now it seems the gay and gay-friendly vote may have combined with the homophobic black vote to hand Democrats a victory in a close race. So, maybe gays did help deliver the Senate for Democrats. Now, what will we get for it? What can we reasonably ask for?
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POPSWhile the Gettin' is Good Gays & lesbians started leaving Virginia before the passage of the anti-gay marriage amendment in that state. Now gay & lesbian faculty at the University of Wisconsin are talking about resigning and leaving the state after the passage of an amendment that bars recognition of same-sex marriages and civil unions. Given that some of these amendments are written in such a way that they might nullify legal agreements between same-sex partners, that give them a few protections that approximate marriage, can you blame them? It will be interesting to see how amendments like these affect cities where the phenomenon mentioned in "The Rise of the Creative Class" has led to more gay-friendly policies. Will gays who have the means to do so abandon states where their legal relationships are not or may not be recognized? Why shouldn't they?
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POPSHelping Make More Ted Haggards And if the Ohio Bishop doesn't quite get the point across, how about a Methodist minister who was once married to a gay man for 15 years before the marriage fell apart, and whose able to look at her own situation and see the role religion played in creating a situation that caused her, her husband, her children, their friends and family to suffer. How is this better than creating a reality in which same-sex orientation is accepted, and same-sex couples are encouraged towards commitment and fidelity? How many fewer broken families, and hearts, would there be? Or is it easier to just keep creating people like Ted Haggard and then condemn them when they inevitably fail at denying who they are?
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POPSBishop Says Gay Couples Can Experience God's Grace Contrast the Catholic church's statement with that of the newly elected Episcopal Bishop in Ohio, who says, "I have a fairly settled conviction that any two persons who struggle to live and grow together in fidelity on a lifetime basis have the opportunity to experience God's grace and to use that relationship for holiness." Now, he won't perform any gay weddings unless he church approves, but tell me this: How many Ted Haggard's would that approach create?
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POPSWisconsin Amendment Amended? It's been argued that the anti-gay marriage amendment in Wisconsin actually helped Democrats and cost Republicans control of the state senate. That may be, but it isn't stopping one Democratic state senator from taking on the amendment. He's not looking to make marriage a possibility. His proposal "respects the gan on gay marriages" but seeks to change the second sentence which he says strips unmarried hetero and homosexual couples of rights. So it could open up civil unions, if it makes it though the senate and survives the GOP-controlled Assembly.
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POPSWaiting it Out & Changing Minds Another Christian blogger in support of gay marriage says that the trend of younger voters supporting marriage equality, and the recent increase in young people voting suggests that we could "just wait it out." After all, the over-60 voters will die off from one election to the next. But how long do we have to wait? And how do we protect our families while we're waiting? And who will stand with us while we wait.
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POPSGay Marriage to Stop Abortion In another take on "pro-life" this blogger makes an interesting argument that people who oppose abortion should naturally support gay marriage: because it will increase the number of homes (two-parent homes, mind you) willing to adopt children. It's a rational idea, and rather radical too, if you put it together with the idea of encouraging committed monogamous relationships among gays and lesbians. The next logical step? Encourage same-sex couples to have families. Of course the major problem with this is that reason will appeal to many of the people who ware anti-choice, anti-gay, and anti-equality.
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POPSFrom the Legislature to the Courts Will the California Supreme Court do what the California legislature tried to do, only to be stopped by Ahnold? Boi makes an interesting case for why this should go to the legislature.
1
POPSMost Americans Are Anti-Anti-Gay Are they? If Gay Patriot West is right, then most Americans aren't anti-gay, but they'd just rather their politicians didn't talk about gay issues much. GWP claims that Santorum's defeat holds a lesson for Republicans, that expressing anti-gay sentiments will not help them get elected. But Democrats may have learned the lesson in GPW's second paragraph, that they can win elections if they back off on gay issues. If the best we can hope for on either side is that neither will be talking much about gay issues in the future, where exactly does that leave us.
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POPSNow That We've Got Congress... Crain does have a point. If gays & lesbians want to make progress, we're going to have to push the Democrats on "safe" (read majority supported) issues. But I think we're also going to have to push them on the marriage issues as well, with a simple message that the Democratic party supports equality. How that's accomplished may be a a matter of debate, but even Democrats who earnestly oppose same-sex marrage ought to be able to support fairness and equality. If not, why are the Democrats in the first place?
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POPSSavage Savages Gays Maybe someone can explain to Michael Savave how the Catholic church is "giving in to the gay mafia" by calling for gays and lesbians to be celibate. Not that he'd listen. My guess is that he thinks the church has gone soft because it's not calling for the execution of gays & lesbians.
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POPSNo Sex for Homos Here's my problem with the "gays should be celibate" approach. Why should I expect less and accept less from life because I happen to be gay? Most people, including lots of gay people, aren't cut out for celibacy. That's why they call it the "give of celibacy." Not everybody gets it. Why not advocate a model for gays & lesbians to find a healthy, life-affirming way to express their sexuality and integrate it into their lives? Why not encourage committed monogamous relationships among gays & lesbians?
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POPSNot Calling It Marriage If I hear this argument just one more time, I think my head will explode. Will someone please point out to me when and where anyone has ever,e ver talked about making the government force churches to serve as venues for gay nuptials? Just one. You can't because it's never happened, and probably never will. First, there are churches that welcome gays & lesbians, and are happy to host same-sex weddings. Second, what gay couple would want to have their wedding in a church that really doesn't want them there? Why mar what is supposed to be a happy occasion by having it in hostile territory? Sometimes I think people have completely abandoned reason in favor of superstition.
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POPSStop Recognizing Marriage? Here's the problem with the idea of doing away with marriage in favor of civil unions for all. If you think people fought hard against opening up marriage to include same-sex couples, that's nothing compared to how hard they'll fight anything that's perceived as taking marriage away form them. Sure, you've got your reasoned arguments all lined up, and the all make sense on paper (or on screen), but when was the last time reason prevailed regarding issues like this one?
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POPSIf Not Now, When? One thing I've kept hearing from progressives on gay rights as we approached this election was "Not now," in one way or another. And the implication was that progressives had to back off on gay issues if they wanted to win in this election. Well, arguably, they've won. So now, when do we push for equal rights? How? And in the meantime, how do we protect our families while we waiting for the "right time"?
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POPSIs the Gay Marriage b/w GOP and Evangelicals Over? Maybe. At the very least, some evangelicals think there are issues a lot more pressing than same-sex marriage, and some of them support equality rights and protections for same-sex couples even if they're opposed to calling it marriage. But the bottom line is that they'd just rather not talk about it at all. Considering what evangelicals usually have to say about gays and lesbians, that's a kind of progress, I guess.
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POPSHell Hath no Fury Like a pissed off queen. Really, I'm not sure why it's news that a gay man finds his representative supports amending the constitution to prohibit same-sex marriage, and decides to do everything he can to help defeat her. Or maybe it's just that the 527s aren't supposed to work for progressives the way they work for the other side.
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POPSSouth Africa OKs Same-Sex Marriage The land of apartheid becomes a land of equality. But that's not a surprise. When South Africa ratified its new post-apartheid constitution, it was the first ever to include language prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation. The first. In the constitution.
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