6
POPSJustice for Ugly People "In Britain, of course, we would have less of a political hurdle to overcome, as our sturdy leader has been bred for stomping around the grounds of a manse in Kirkcaldy rather than insinuating himself round the luscious forms of sultry tango dancers."
7
POPSThe Uncyclopedia Bible WARNING: This is a work of fiction. Do NOT take it literally. CONTENT ADVISORY: Contains verses descriptive or advocating suicide, incest, bestiality, sadomasochism, sexual activity in a violent context, murder, morbid violence, use of drugs or alcohol, homosexuality, voyeurism, revenge, undermining of authority figures, lawlessness, and human rights violations and atrocities. EXPOSURE WARNING: Exposure to contents for extended periods of time or during formative years in children may cause delusions, hallucinations, decreased cognitive and objective reasoning abilities, and, in extreme cases, pathological disorders, hatred, bigotry, and violence including, but not limited to, fanaticism, murder, and genocide.
2
POPSDave Barry: Real candidates belch and reek "The Iowa/New Hampshire system is insane. It's like a 50-table restaurant with a big, varied menu, except that only two tables are allowed to order. If these two tables order clams, for example, or Michael Dukakis, that's what gets served to all the other tables. "
11
POPSGenetic Experiments Most Likely to Destroy Humanity "If there's one thing scientists have a knack for (other than avoiding sexual contact with other human beings), it's turning seemingly innocent things into horrifying specters of terror. Atoms were just innocent old building blocks of matter up until they were used to level two Japanese cities. Apparently bored with the military weapons as an outlet for their evil, scientists are upping their pant-soiling quotient by genetically engineering monsters out of our livestock and pets. So, strap on some night-vision goggles, go buy up all the ammunitions at your nearest Wal-Mart and prepare yourself for:"