Thank you, invictus. It is truly depressing to feel that I'm not beautiful by societal standards, no matter how much I tell myself it's the inner beauty that really counts. Most men don't realize how hurtful it is when they say things like "you're beautiful to me" but by gazing at and/or commenting on "gorgeous" women they, consciously or not, reveal a preference for them. My own husband does this, although he denies it, not wishing to acknowledge that he has unwittingly displayed his true feelings.

At my last job a new head administrator came on board and made it known by favoritism and discrimination that "beautiful" people were the only ones he valued. The rest of us could, as you say, ...

Thank you, invictus. It is truly depressing to feel that I'm not beautiful by societal standards, no matter how much I tell myself it's the inner beauty that really counts. Most men don't realize how hurtful it is when they say things like "you're beautiful to me" but by gazing at and/or commenting on "gorgeous" women they, consciously or not, reveal a preference for them. My own husband does this, although he denies it, not wishing to acknowledge that he has unwittingly displayed his true feelings.

At my last job a new head administrator came on board and made it known by favoritism and discrimination that "beautiful" people were the only ones he valued. The rest of us could, as you say, "get gorgeous or get lost". Some women started paying a lot more attention to their looks in order to keep their jobs or to get promoted. I witnessed shallow, poorly educated women with tight sweaters, thin bodies and salon hairdo/nails/makeup quickly gain favor and prestige, while wonderful, able women without these attributes were devalued and demeaned. One poor woman had her stomach stapled to lose some weight so that she might keep her job, but it was too late. She was doomed by the first, less than "perfect", impression she had made on the new boss. Watching some women scramble for "glamour" in order to meet his expectations and other women sink into depression and oblivion was frustrating and depressing for me. I left that job, but still have a few friends there who tell me that many of the "real" people are now gone, along with the quality of the organization.

I appreciate this clip, invictus. Perhaps it will bring about some intelligent discussion. Hopefully there are men willing and able to say something more intelligent than UpStateMike did.

I left that job, but still have a few friends there who tell me that many of the "real" people are now gone, along with the quality of the organization.

The very last part of your sentence, reveals it all, Gingembre: "Decline at the quality of the organization". Even in the wildest capitalism circumstances, I believe, a manager or employer should choose people according to their qualifications. I don't deny it's more or less important how people in your office look but, it's "work", after all, not a computer game. You make money from it, you support the needs of your family with the money you earned, so you need people with best qualifications to do that job and help you earn...

I left that job, but still have a few friends there who tell me that many of the "real" people are now gone, along with the quality of the organization.

The very last part of your sentence, reveals it all, Gingembre: "Decline at the quality of the organization". Even in the wildest capitalism circumstances, I believe, a manager or employer should choose people according to their qualifications. I don't deny it's more or less important how people in your office look but, it's "work", after all, not a computer game. You make money from it, you support the needs of your family with the money you earned, so you need people with best qualifications to do that job and help you earn money. But the example you presented here reminds us the thrilling facts about how this insane hysteria affects every aspect of life. Let put aside the logic and other things, it's inhuman (according to my opinion.)

What makes me angry beyond all, is the "beauty concept" that has been imposed on people, both female and male. Not as bad as the situation of women, but men also faces similar cases sometimes, where stupid, ignorant but very handsome guys are preferred to modest looking, fat but very smart, industrious and talented people. Muscled shoulders and thighs, flat abdomen and belly, narrow and hard ass has become the only "attraction standart" of men. Tall guys are pereferred to short guys, slim guys are preferred to overweighted guys, long and healthy haired guys are preferred to bald guys... You can't tell if they search for a flirt for themselves or is it a capable and good employee they wanted.

Two examples: My daughter had a female friend that she just adored. This friend was somewhat overweight but my daughter didn't even see it in her eyes. The friend would constantly obsess about the fact that my daughter is a tiny, pretty girl. She would constantly say she wished she looked more like my daughter. Eventually, my daughter is asking my advice on how to handle this matter because at this point no matter how many times my daughter tries to tell her friend she is beautiful, the friend never believes it and after awhile it's becoming annoying. All I could think to tell my daughter is that it's a sad commentary on our society that we value external attractiveness so muc...

Two examples: My daughter had a female friend that she just adored. This friend was somewhat overweight but my daughter didn't even see it in her eyes. The friend would constantly obsess about the fact that my daughter is a tiny, pretty girl. She would constantly say she wished she looked more like my daughter. Eventually, my daughter is asking my advice on how to handle this matter because at this point no matter how many times my daughter tries to tell her friend she is beautiful, the friend never believes it and after awhile it's becoming annoying. All I could think to tell my daughter is that it's a sad commentary on our society that we value external attractiveness so much that it devalues our own self-worth.
Even worse, was the fact that one of my daughter's friend's mother would constantly tell her how great my daughter looked and tell her daughter how she should try to lose weight and look more like my daughter. (Who by the way, has good genetics and has done absolutely nothing to earn the figure she has inherited) My daughters were both sickened by this mother's attitude. All I can say is that I have tried to instill a sense of non-pretentiousness in both my children, and I'm proud of that.