 bignosemousie says: Sure, blasting someone in a comment feels good at the time, but what does it do to your reputation? How might it affect your future relationships? How might it prevent a positive outcome in a future interaction? I'm popping this, not in denial of guilt, or because not popping it would look suspicious but rather because I have been guilty. To be honest, I'm not particularly sorry to anyone I may have "blasted". But I am sorry for my role in anything that reflects poorly on CM's or makes other clippers feel uncomfortable. Well that's it. It's a public forum, and it does. Good post, Mousie. It does sometimes feel good for the moment; but then like life, I can't go back and erase it. :~( There are different kinds of inappropriate (as in blasting someone ) comments. There are the intentional pre-planned type (the worst). There's the unintentional, reacting without thinking type and then there's the person who draws attention to another person's inappropriate comment, which is as bad, if not worse, than the original comment itself. It is often extremely difficult to understand that bad reactions from other's are more about that person. Here is another clip you might like, Debby. It is about perception. It is often extremely difficult to understand that bad reactions from other's are more about that person.Your perception of their "reactions", which are actually just comments, ONLY say something about you. Because you don't know anything about their reactions. All you know is what they typed in a comment box. I recently read a clip where a clipper "reacted" and blocked a clipper because they admitted that they got "angry", and then unblocked them again, then blocked them again. One clipper made some interesting points, the other appeared to react. That blocking feature sure brings out the control in the control freak.....The other clipper apologized and asked a very good q... All you know is what they typed in a comment box.That is a very limiting aspect of online communities. On one hand, we have access to so much more interaction with people we never would have had in our daily lives. But on the other hand, that interaction is confined by the medium's limitations. (I know I sound like Captain Obvious here. Sorry!) Miss Bignose, I have a question I hope doesn't offend you...... Do you find yourself getting uncomfortable around confrontation? Not just online ,but offline as well? I am curious. It's true that it is limiting in some ways, but revealing and more real in others. Online communities operate more like a private ballot, than a meeting at work where you are asked to give your "honest" opinion about something. I think there is more to gleaned from seeking to understand what people actually say, than it is to apply a subjective idea that there is some "reaction" involved . It is east to wax philosophic about what reactions say about people. That's just ones own subjective imagination. The important thing is to seek clarity ( like Prager?). If one is really interested in sharing and accepting ideas, then they don't really care to persuade as much as they care about clarity.... Antara: No, I am not uncomfortable if the confrontation has a reasonable point. I like things better when people behave mannerly. Why does confrontation have to be ugly? Well, it is what it is. See, to me, sometimes being 'nice' doesn't always look nice.......and I see a lot of smiling evil these days. http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2009/10/a_smiling_face_sometimes_hides_unspeakable_evil.html Anyways, thanks for answering. I think mousie demonstrates great wisdom. I get into the mix because I am passionate about the truth, the application of reason, because I despise evil, and because my DNA prevents me from keeping my mouth shut. The important thing, I believe, is that there is no correct or incorrect way to fight for something (in my view). Even violence has it's time and place. Ghandi won, MLK won, Christ won. Nice doesn't always look nice, but sincerity is always nice. And mousie is always sincere. Mousie is the best. We're all very fortunate to have her here. She's our voice of reason so to speak. Regardless of her politics, I can always trust that she will be fair. Willhelm, I can't help but notice those little quotation marks that you have on the word reaction. Are you quoting someone or is that just your way of referring to Debbyski's remark without being real obvious about it. You surely wouldn't be trying to start something on mousie's clip after paying her such high compliments. Say, that would be like...."baiting" someone wouldn't it. Well, if that isn't what your doing I apologize but on the other hand, if that is what your doing, you're busted. ( I would put a smiling face ... I like Miss Big. However, I find that these 'be nice' clips are allowing certain very ' not nice' clippers to engage in this discussion as if they were themselves not the worst offenders. My question was very direct---and not without a reason. I know women who would much rather everyone play nicey nice and gloss over certain unpleasant nastiness due to their strong aversion to confrontations/conflict. Miss Big answered me, said this was not true in her case and so be it. I accept her answer and shall go on clipping in peace  I guess I'm busted then, because I don't know what the Hell you are talking about, and I suspect few ever do. Off to your delusional world, please. I need none of what you're selling. Interesting that you assume other don't understand me simply because you don't. Interesting that you find my world delusional....does that happen to you often? And why in the world would you think I was selling something? This is CM, remember? Not ebay.....tell me, are you feeling delusional right now? Oh, I see, you weren't being sneaky about your attack on debbyski at all. That was just an out in the open attack over "NOTHING" at all. She wasn't talking to you. She said nothing at all offensive to anyone. But you just had to attack didn't you? Admit it willhelm, you're out of control. You can't help yourself. OK. I admit it. You've got me pegged. That's a real last resort response. I likey that.  Ohhhh. see? I can't fool you. You're one sharp chestnut. Together we can take this place over. Game? Don't be silly willie, if I really wanted this place I would have made the boys and offer a long time ago. That's not what I mean, chestnut. I'm talking about real power. The kind of power few ever know. The kind of power passed down through centuries, for only a select few. Everyone thinks they own their opinion. You and I know differently. It is programmed. I know the secret to hacking the program that controls minds. The code is lollipop, not to be confused with lollipop at clipmarks. We both know her well enough. If I can trust you, I will tell you what the 'L' stands for, then, if I trust you more, I will reveal what the 'O' stands for, and so on.. Antara said: However, I find that these 'be nice' clips are allowing certain very ' not nice' clippers to engage in this discussion as if they were themselves not the worst offenders.First, let me be clear. I am not using these clips to point fingers at anyone. I have a whole clipcast dedicated to internet manners. I am interested in the way people interact online. Willhem brought up some interesting stuff in his comment above. It's true that it is limiting in some ways, but revealing and more realThis ty... I would like to thank everyone for saying such nice things about me in the comments. It was very kind, and kindness matters, especially to me. I despise confrontation in *real life*. I'll go to great lengths to avoid it. Fortunately I rarely have to deal with it anymore as my world has become pretty small (as in toddler). Online I feel a little more free to speak my mind. However, I won't compromise my belief system for the purpose of getting along. I'll add a star to Mousie's Clipmark Crown. :~) Thanks, Jatfla. As much as I would love to be "good buddies with everyone" to get through the rational aspect of life on this planet makes it unmanageable and each person has their own threshold or what is or is not manageable in regards to communication online or off or both. Words have their limits always, logic has its limits always and I am actually quite a lovely person and respect myself enough to know there are certain people I am better off without. It does not mean I wish them ill or anything. They might very well be great people, just not for me. I possibly like them more when they are out of my space/face whatever. Sometimes living according to ideals we read about creates more lies than simp... Like birds that know when it is time to migrate - they just know, it is an internal mechanism that cannot always be explained. Who says, "I have to get along with everyone and every body?" Yet, I don't go out of my way, to provoke for the sake of logic, intellectualism, etc. I am actually quite a lovely personHumble too, lolol |
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