"The goal is to come up with cost-effective, creative solutions to respectfully eulogize our fallen heroes," said Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), who cited a recent decision to construct a part of the monument out of papier-mâché, and another proposal to type the names of newly fallen soldiers on sturdy index cards, which would be kept in a box near the memorial. "So we urge the president to sign our bill to allow the ABMC to strip marble slabs from the steps of the seldom-visited Jefferson Memorial in order to help complete this timeless monument."

"Because our grandchildren should be honored just as much for their service in Iraq," she added.

OMG this is the Onion!