I love the first one.

@NonStatQuo He is a Master!

10:God doesn't play dice, he just makes them, and we throw them around until we get the numbers we like.
9:The processes of the universe were predestined according to the laws of physics. For every action there was an equal and opposite reaction.
Then we showed up.
I know what he means about crossing the road, didn't look. That wasn't destiny, it was stupidity.
On Star Trek TNG Data the Android was playing Poker with holograms of Hawking, Einstein, and Newton.
Newton thought it was a stupid game, because he was losing.
Einstein acted as though he couldn't count, but he was winning.
Hawking had four sevens.
He had more money than Einstein.

Brilliant!

I've always liked Sir Arthur Eddington's comment:

"Something unknown is doing we don't know what."