We were silent, absorbing this.

“So Ernie’s just…just… excited,” my wife offered.

“Exactly,” the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. Laughing “It’s just… that… I’m picturing you pulling on its… its…teeny little…” she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

“That’s enough,” I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad ...

We were silent, absorbing this.

“So Ernie’s just…just… excited,” my wife offered.

“Exactly,” the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. Laughing “It’s just… that… I’m picturing you pulling on its… its…teeny little…” she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

“That’s enough,” I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

“I know Ernie’s really thankful for what you’ve done, Dad,” he told me.

“Oh, you have NO idea,” I said.

Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

2 - Lizards - $140…
1 - Cage - $50…
Trip to the Vet - $30…

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard’s winkie…..Priceless

Moral of the story is?” finish biology class . . . . . lizards lay eggs

One day there was a monkey hanging out in a tree smoking some real good weed. A lizard near by could smell the delicious aroma and decided to find out where it was coming from. After a few minutes of searching he found the monkey. The monkey looked down at him and asked the lizard if he wanted to hit some of this good marijuana. The lizard obliged and climbed up the tree. After a few passes of the joint the lizard had some terrible cotton mouth and decided to walk down to the river and get something to drink. He told the monkey he would be right back for some more weed. While the lizard was gone getting a drink an alligator near by could smell the aroma and decided to find the source. He fou...

One day there was a monkey hanging out in a tree smoking some real good weed. A lizard near by could smell the delicious aroma and decided to find out where it was coming from. After a few minutes of searching he found the monkey. The monkey looked down at him and asked the lizard if he wanted to hit some of this good marijuana. The lizard obliged and climbed up the tree. After a few passes of the joint the lizard had some terrible cotton mouth and decided to walk down to the river and get something to drink. He told the monkey he would be right back for some more weed. While the lizard was gone getting a drink an alligator near by could smell the aroma and decided to find the source. He found where it was coming from and when he looked up he saw the monkey. The monkey looked at him in amazement and said "Damn Lizard how much water did you drink?"