3. "It's never done that before" =>HAH!

When I was testing software at Enron, I always hated telling the programmers that something was broken. I think my favorite response was "How on EARTH did you get it to do that?" haha. I represented the end user, who will do things that the programmers would never think to do. "If I click all the buttons in this order, everything goes black."

1. "It works on my machine"

I shamelessly use this on a daily basis

I've been a professional programmer for 23 years, so I don't think this one is right:

"How on EARTH did you get it to do that?"

More like:

"Why on EARTH did you get it to do that?"!

Also, the most often cause of program errors I've seen in the past 5 years? Bad data that the stupid application didn't prevent the user from entering multiple "preferred addresses", for example.

5. "That's weird..."

This one is my favourite.

I think eric g hears "That's weird" and "It works on my machine" at least on a daily basis from me... I think they basically both mean "I don't have time right now while I'm in the middle of thousands of lines of code, please email me and I will get back to you. p.s. thanks for making me lose my place."

7. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"

Yes! This one is great for non-technical bosses. Buys you plenty of time while they update and do a full system scan. Can't be too safe!

If I click all the buttons in this order, everything goes black

Did you actually do that mousie ? :0

I think the accompanying body language of furrowed brows, stroked chins (beards?) and pure human exasperation (especially in relation to item 10 - the implication of that statement being that 'someone else' has 'touched that module') mustn't be forgotten.

I regard myself as a pretty articulate member of society but still find myself breaking into sql/php/ajax etc. mutterings when fielding/fending off user queries.

I think my husband would enjoy this thread!

>body language of furrowed brows, stroked chins (beards?)

Lol- I was furrowing my brow AND stroking my chin as I imagine myself saying "it's never don't THAT before".

I've certainly said a few of these myself!

It sounds like an end user problem to me!

Brilliant find.
Now I have some excuses that I've never used before.

9. "It must be a hardware problem."

hahahahah!!

1. "It works on my machine"

Every time. Just a week ago I had to provide a piece of software and it worked perfectly on my machine , but refused to work on client's one. I used the above "excuse" to no end.

Infra team was to blame for that one, though...

I was working with a programmer for ONE DAY and I heard ALL OF THESE!

hehe.....ya am stdying programmming,w yet if anyone ask me anything that i get stckin that will be my answers lool