Is it selfish of me to be unsympathetic? After all, how many bedrooms can each of these people sleep in at the same time? How may loos do they each use at any given time? Or are multiple orifices a benefit of fame that elude the rest of us?

Poor little rich boys & girls. How can we let them suffer like this? I know - we'll ask Bush for aid - he's always giving to such needy causes.