Having grown up in an Evangelical church and having been educated in various Christian institutions, the questions of women's equality aren't new to me. I used to argue interminably on the issue, always feeling like a reject because of the ubiquitous shaming voice of the "women are subject to men" point of view. That old Bible sure makes for one effective bludgeoning tool!

What is new for me is exploring the history of women's issues outside of the context of the Christian faith. In addition, starting to read a bit and think more about the various gender identities has piqued my interest in queer studies. I like what I read there, the ambiguity of identity is comforting. The space to not be...

Having grown up in an Evangelical church and having been educated in various Christian institutions, the questions of women's equality aren't new to me. I used to argue interminably on the issue, always feeling like a reject because of the ubiquitous shaming voice of the "women are subject to men" point of view. That old Bible sure makes for one effective bludgeoning tool!

What is new for me is exploring the history of women's issues outside of the context of the Christian faith. In addition, starting to read a bit and think more about the various gender identities has piqued my interest in queer studies. I like what I read there, the ambiguity of identity is comforting. The space to not be defined by my genitalia or my romantic interests, but to more broadly understand myself as someone who is bucking the heteronormativity of our society.

In general I am very suspicious of any sort of dialectical definition of anything! Either/or just does not cut it. Perhaps because I was always a stellar athlete (through adolescence and young adulthood) and attracted to girls/women, I was restless with my own identity as a girl/woman. I never dated until college. I felt like an outsider when it came to boyfriends. There was something I just didn't get. I began to associate my athleticism with lesbianism. My own homophobia made me uneasy with butch women, and I didn't want to identify with female athletes out of fear of being "guilty by association".

I do have a very, very wide maternal instinct and in general am a nurturing person (counseling, teaching, pastoring being my careers of choice). I've always found comfort in my femininity through that avenue. (But now even that statement irritates me! What, men can't be nurturing?)

Notice I said comfort. For many years there was a lot of restlessness within me. I haven't been comfortable in my own skin. That has improved by leaps and bounds since I've allowed myself to celebrate my sexuality.

Thank you for a most interesting comment Kelso. I too, was an athlete in high school and in college. In fact, I played college basketball.
I can relate when you said you felt like an outsider in regards to males in some fashion. I can remember men saying that "I didn't seem to respond to them as a woman does" and I didn't get that. What did they mean I didn't respond to them? Didn't all women feel this way? And oh, btw, didn't all women fantasize about other women? Wasn't that normal, and weren't you supposed to just keep that to yourself?

In retrospect, I feel the lack of societal permission to exercise individuality and the pressure American women feel to marry a man o...

Thank you for a most interesting comment Kelso. I too, was an athlete in high school and in college. In fact, I played college basketball.
I can relate when you said you felt like an outsider in regards to males in some fashion. I can remember men saying that "I didn't seem to respond to them as a woman does" and I didn't get that. What did they mean I didn't respond to them? Didn't all women feel this way? And oh, btw, didn't all women fantasize about other women? Wasn't that normal, and weren't you supposed to just keep that to yourself?

In retrospect, I feel the lack of societal permission to exercise individuality and the pressure American women feel to marry a man often define women's roles. Most of our perceptions come from a common world of social practices and institutions so embedded in our shared reality of power, language, and identity that they are invisible to us.