Courtroom Quotations


	Courtroom Quotations

slosd

12-20-2008 7:46 AM

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tags:

humor, quotes

3 Comments |

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12-20-2008 7:59 AM

balthazarus

12-20-2008 6:31 PM

bignosemousie

"All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

One would hope!

These are funny, thanks for clipping.

12-20-2008 7:40 PM

carrerinyes

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/fd8bd055-c0e3-4eca-b0b9-3b962b68eca6/E26D1745-19BA-446C-80B2-03ADA00EAD9C/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml" href="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml" style="font-size: 11px;">rinkworks.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><UL>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Witness:</SPAN> "By death."</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "And by whose death was it terminated?"</LI>
</UL></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><UL>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Witness:</SPAN> "Thank you.  If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."</LI>
</UL></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><UL>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"</LI>
</UL></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><UL>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Witness:</SPAN> "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."</LI>
</UL></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><UL>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Witness:</SPAN> "No."</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Witness:</SPAN> "Picking them up in the air."</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "Where was the dog at this time?"</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Witness:</SPAN> "Attached to the ears."</LI>
</UL></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><UL>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Witness:</SPAN> "She is my daughter."</LI>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"</LI>
</UL></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><UL>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><SPAN class="itemstart">Lawyer:</SPAN> "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"</LI>
</UL></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/E26D1745-19BA-446C-80B2-03ADA00EAD9C/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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