Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

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	Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

Silkweaver

9-4-2008 8:31 PM

840 views

tags:

humor

Silkweaver says:

6 Comments |

Add a Comment

9-4-2008 11:10 PM

tanyamm

When I fall down there's nothing smart about it. I feel stupid and I probably look stupid too.

9-4-2008 11:15 PM

BartendingBear

I'll see your

and raise you another

9-5-2008 6:09 AM

Silkweaver

I've just thought that flying, even jumping is an act against God

9-6-2008 10:57 AM

tanyamm

If God didn`t like it he wouldn`t let us do it.

9-6-2008 11:01 AM

lap322

Hahaha... when I first read the headline, I really thought it was a true story!

9-7-2008 7:44 AM

Tylast

Insane. If you want have real scientists come explain how the natural world works at your school before your local church does, check this out.

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/ff3671ef-24b7-405e-9c73-c54cfeb29d87/CDD2C7AC-36B4-41B6-81BF-2E95B47B5149/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005" href="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005" style="font-size: 11px;">www.theonion.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005"><div align="center"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.theonion.com/img/E9096D9C-B534-41EA-ACA4-BE9F3728CCF7" alt="Evangelical" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005">As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. </blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005">Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005">"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.
</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005">Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005">Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."
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