Asked whether He felt guilty for abandoning his followers who have ridgedly followed the ancient text book 'The Bible' for centuries, God replied sheepishly "I never finished reading it if I'm honest...It got a bit boring half way through so I just skipped to the end. I prefered Dan Brown's 'The Da Vinci Code'...that was pretty cool".

Whether God's decision to move on will destroy Christianity remains to be seen, but in these initial stages the Vatican, at least, seems calm. A spokesman said "To be honest, we are pretty sure we can blag our way through this, we've been making shit up to justify our attrocities for years..."