You paint your car with house paint.

Your dog goes "oink!"

You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.

You know how to milk a goat.

You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time.

Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache.

Your dog passes gas and you claim it.

Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.

You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone inside.

You think toilet water is exactly that.

Your chili's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.

Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.

You wore curlers to your wedding so you would look nice at the reception.

You have a refrigerator just for beer.

Your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

The trunk of your car is tied

So much fun