New Dad Thinks Baby Might Be Gay


	New Dad Thinks Baby Might Be Gay

CrazyRedHead

8-9-2007 11:38 PM

730 views

tags:

satire, humor, onion, silliness, funny

8 Comments |

Add a Comment

8-9-2007 11:50 PM

skwirlinator

Gay Babies - YAY

8-10-2007 12:50 AM

alanocu

Oh my god I haven't laughed so hard!!!

8-10-2007 2:28 AM

mugofcoffee

sick people, God, sick people

8-10-2007 2:37 AM

Tallulah

Shouldn't there be a law that stops people like this having children.....my son loves the colour pink, so working on his hypothesis.............definitely GAY!!

8-10-2007 7:42 AM

book-mole

My son used to wear dresses and push a dolls pram to the shops - with his shorn head he looked odd. But I didn't think this made him gay!

I also had a friend who would not let his sons play with "girls" toys - like an iron or a cooker... preparing them for life very well, methinks!

8-10-2007 4:54 PM

Contrived

Oh, so if you like shiny things your immediately a homosexual? This guy needs to get some sense.

8-14-2007 11:10 PM

alanocu

this is the onion, right? please tell me this isn't for real?

8-15-2007 6:48 AM

CrazyRedHead

this is the onion, right? please tell me this isn't for real?

Don't worry sweetie, look at the tags -

satire, humor, onion, silliness, funny

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/a22c6a47-54e3-4b0f-8b57-565d726622b6/B4941552-BC36-456F-A7F6-E42173851C7A/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073" href="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073" style="font-size: 11px;">www.theonion.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073">Citing "something vaguely effeminate" about his eight-month-old son Michael, first-time father Joe Oebrick, 32, reported Tuesday that he suspects the infant may be a homosexual.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073">According to Oebrick, Michael has an excessive fondness for bright colors and "things that sparkle."</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073">"Sequins, glitter, feathers," said the recent father, listing some of the things that Michael likes. "And he <I>really</I> likes flowers."</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073"><P>According to the recent father, his most urgent concern is the confused baby's constant need to suck on a pacifier. 
</p> <P>"That can't be right. Can it?" Oebrick said.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073"><P>Oebrick said he first began to worry about Michael's sexual orientation when the boy was two months old. 	
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073"><P>"He would giggle constantly," Oebrick said. "And he had a very weak handshake."
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073"><P>According to Oebrick, there were several months during which the infant's head would wobble if it wasn't supported by an adult.
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073">"He was always swinging his head around," Oebrick said.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073">it seemed pretty... well, gay."</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31073"><div align="center"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.theonion.com/img/4766FAC3-5C78-44C5-A914-ACF990430EB8" alt="New Dad" /></div></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/B4941552-BC36-456F-A7F6-E42173851C7A/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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