Interest Decline and Marital Problems

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	Interest Decline and Marital Problems

vienova4

6-13-2009 10:32 AM

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tags:

marriage, marital problems, mental health

vienova4 says:

The author states that resentment happens when one partner lets his/her interest on the other decline, even in the absence of any wrongdoing.

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/01abf667-60d5-498e-ad35-114b98ceb3d0/A9D81467-D022-4EF4-A55D-EF279F7DF702/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest" style="font-size: 11px;">www.psychologytoday.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest"><div align="center"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.psychologytoday.com/img/FBB11E98-B4EE-44FE-A8B0-949429355AD6" alt="Psychology Today: Here to Help" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest"><H1>Marriage Problems: Resentment and the Decline of Interest</H1></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest"><EM>Novelty </EM>stimulates interest; once anything becomes familiar, you have to work to sustain it.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest">The truth is, over time the familiarity of experiencing the same <EM>good </EM>thing over and over will cause you to lose interest in it.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest">If the decline in interest is equal in both parties, the couple has a good chance of remaining connected as they put more energy into things that indirectly support the relationship, such work, children, and social networks. Unfortunately, the decline in interest is rarely equal.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest">Imagine a see-saw with fear and shame</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest">on one end and interest, compassion, and emotional attunement (connection) on the other.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest">The best way to lighten the burden of resentment is to increase attunement. And the best strategy for doing that is to focus on compassion.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-resentment-and-the-decline-interest">If you want to tilt the see-saw in favor of connection, you must be the first person in your relationship to replace resentment with compassion.</blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/A9D81467-D022-4EF4-A55D-EF279F7DF702/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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