Oswald: (Examining the aforementioned belly)Well, you could stand to lose a few pounds.

Ruby: Don't worry about hurting my feelings, Harvey. Give it to me straight.

Oswald: You're hideous, Jack. You look like a wad of sweaty sugarcookie dough.

Ruby: Ouch.

Oswald: "Give it to me straight," you said.

Ruby: You're so mean sometimes. Sometimes I just want to . . .

Oswald: What? Slap me? Punch me? Shoot me at point blank in the stomach?

Ruby: Don't be ridiculous. I just need some drive and incentive to start exercising again. Maybe we could get up in the mornings and do some crunches together.

Oswald: Hey, keep away from my midsection. I'm perfectly healthy.

Ruby: I used to be built like...

Oswald: (Examining the aforementioned belly)Well, you could stand to lose a few pounds.

Ruby: Don't worry about hurting my feelings, Harvey. Give it to me straight.

Oswald: You're hideous, Jack. You look like a wad of sweaty sugarcookie dough.

Ruby: Ouch.

Oswald: "Give it to me straight," you said.

Ruby: You're so mean sometimes. Sometimes I just want to . . .

Oswald: What? Slap me? Punch me? Shoot me at point blank in the stomach?

Ruby: Don't be ridiculous. I just need some drive and incentive to start exercising again. Maybe we could get up in the mornings and do some crunches together.

Oswald: Hey, keep away from my midsection. I'm perfectly healthy.

Ruby: I used to be built like a Buick. I played football in school, you know.

Oswald: College?

Ruby: No, elementary school.

Oswald: I didn't think elementary school usually had football teams.

Ruby: I was a heck of a wide receiver. During a single recess I caught four touchdowns. What did you do during recess as a kid?

Oswald: I didn't have many friends. Plus my family moved around a lot.

Ruby: Never picked up a sport?

Oswald: Skeet-shooting, but I was never any good.

(A waitress comes to the table. Ruby looks her up and down)

Ruby: Mandy, I'd like you to meet Lee Harvey Oswald. He's a communist.

Mandy: (to Oswald) Does that mean you don't eat cows?

Oswald: Um . . . no.

Mandy: You pray to brass panther men?

Oswald: We believe in socialism and the goods of the country belong, in equal shares, to all men.

Mandy: Oh! You hate America.

Ruby: Two scotches for us, Mandy.

(Mandy walks away)

Oswald: So are we shooting the president or not?

Ruby: Bush?

Oswald: (Leading) This is 1963, Jack. So when I say president you say . . .

Ruby: Oh. Kennedy!

Oswald: Nice work, buddy.