The Onion's Flu Prevention Tips


	The Onion's Flu Prevention Tips

masbury

10-11-2009 10:32 PM

1427 views

tags:

humor

masbury says:

Here are some tips to help keep you healthy and germ-free during these cold winter months:

5 Comments |

Add a Comment

10-12-2009 9:42 AM

Jorjor

Given a choice, I'd take The Onion over Fox News anyday.

10-12-2009 10:20 AM

ljsdesign

@Jorjor Couldn't blame ya

10-12-2009 11:43 AM

kkcapricorn

10-12-2009 12:01 PM

lollipop10

10-12-2009 9:01 PM

masbury

Fair and balanced. Perhaps The Onion should begin a cable-news network!

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/113bbc67-2b9f-4c3b-b89e-af50694ee36f/9A3C8164-1B7F-4D83-96C6-D697238D453B/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/cold_and_flu_prevention_tips?utm_source=onion_rss_daily" href="http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/cold_and_flu_prevention_tips?utm_source=onion_rss_daily" style="font-size: 11px;">www.theonion.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/cold_and_flu_prevention_tips?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;">Pack your sinus cavities with Vicks Vap-O-Rub to fully mentholate your respiratory system.
</LI></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/cold_and_flu_prevention_tips?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;">Do not blow your stuffed nose into tissues—this is a myth! Always suck your phlegm into the back of your throat and swallow it in great, goblike mouthfuls.
</LI></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/cold_and_flu_prevention_tips?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;">You don't have to subject yourself to other people's germs. If you see someone who appears to have a cold or fever, contact your local police department.
</LI></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/cold_and_flu_prevention_tips?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;">If you are a sickly, anemic, weak person, you have a higher susceptibility
to colds and flu. Try not to be such a pansy-ass. 
</LI></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/cold_and_flu_prevention_tips?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;">To prevent infections, have sick people cough into your food. This light  "inoculative" dose of germs will boost your body's defenses against a full-blown infection later.
</LI></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/cold_and_flu_prevention_tips?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><div align="center"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.theonion.com/img/09AA7001-6817-4F74-B1D5-935B0005650F" alt="-" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/cold_and_flu_prevention_tips?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;">Sneezing into a handkerchief just redirects germs back at you. Always sneeze outward so as to shoot germs as far across the room as possible.
</LI></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/9A3C8164-1B7F-4D83-96C6-D697238D453B/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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