Conceptual Terrorists Encase Sears Tower In Jell-O


	Conceptual Terrorists Encase Sears Tower In Jell-O

kmakice

10-15-2007 12:41 PM

970 views

tags:

the onion, satire, jello, terrorism, concept art, sears tower

3 Comments |

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10-15-2007 1:12 PM

mona

ah, the onion strikes again!

10-15-2007 7:32 PM

BartendingBear

Christo, spiritual leader of the group, thought to be in hiding somewhere.

BushCo. expected to announce random bombing runs intended to end fear of strawberry gelatin and to scare Christo into deeper hiding.

10-15-2007 8:04 PM

masbury

FBI: Computer searches for all known consumers of strawberry gelatin
CIA: Christo's ancestors from strawberry-growing region
MI5: Known Muslims eat strawberries
Cheney: Christo has clear ties to Al Qaeda
Rice: We can only hope the smoking gun is not a mushroom cloud encased in strawberry gelatin.
Bush: Christo is evil. Ahmedinejad is evil. We must invade Iran.
Congress: Uh-huh.
Media: Anna Nicole had strawberries in bloodstream.

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/ea67b6db-8e25-431b-8ce8-de6028e6e42f/96B94FBD-B703-4E6B-9B16-508E729EA526/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears?utm_source=onion_rss_daily" href="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears?utm_source=onion_rss_daily" style="font-size: 11px;">www.theonion.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><P>CHICAGO—In what is being called the first conceptual terrorist attack on American soil, the landmark Sears Tower was encased in 18 million tons of strawberry gelatin early Monday morning, leaving thousands shocked, angry, and seriously confused.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><div align="center"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.theonion.com/img/BCBB7857-7278-4A10-AEE0-7BBBCEE02195" alt="Sears Tower" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><P>The Sears Tower</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears?utm_source=onion_rss_daily">Authorities called to the scene of the senseless attack said they could do little to control the large crowds of dangerously bewildered citizens, many of whom searched desperately for some semblance of meaning in what had just taken place.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears?utm_source=onion_rss_daily">"Why would anyone do something like this?"</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears?utm_source=onion_rss_daily"><P>Tentative speculation that the dessert enclosure was in fact an act of terrorism was quickly confirmed after a group known only as the Prophet's Collective took credit for the attack in a three-hour-long video that surfaced on the Internet. </P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; 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