Among those arrested in yesterday’s nationwide manhunt were Sybil Johnson, 83, of 12 Downing Street, Westminster, and her pet terrier Puddles, 7. Counter-terrorism experts describe the duo, who until their arrest lived next door to Brown, as “constantly yapping thorns in the Prime Minister’s side, depriving him of sleep and blocking his driveway with their rubbish bins.” Puddles is also suspected as the mastermind behind the successful 23 November plot to soil Brown’s shoes with strategically-placed curbside dog droppings. Johnson remains in custody, and police say Puddles has been remanded to the custody of the US for imprisonment a...

Among those arrested in yesterday’s nationwide manhunt were Sybil Johnson, 83, of 12 Downing Street, Westminster, and her pet terrier Puddles, 7. Counter-terrorism experts describe the duo, who until their arrest lived next door to Brown, as “constantly yapping thorns in the Prime Minister’s side, depriving him of sleep and blocking his driveway with their rubbish bins.” Puddles is also suspected as the mastermind behind the successful 23 November plot to soil Brown’s shoes with strategically-placed curbside dog droppings. Johnson remains in custody, and police say Puddles has been remanded to the custody of the US for imprisonment at its controversial ‘Yipmo’ canine terrorist detention kennel.

Also arrested in the sweep was Julian St. Julian, the exclusive Notting Hill hairdresser whom security officials say is responsible for Brown’s painfully embarrassing haircut. Those privy to his interrogation say the 31-year old stylist at first denied culpability for the widely derided coiffure, repeatedly maintaining that it was “avant-garde” and “accentuated his cheekbones.” After hours of cross-examination by Home Office psychological experts, however, St. Julian eventually confessed.

“Yes! I admit it! It’s ghastly and ridiculous! And it did it on purpose!” shouted St. Julian on a videotape released by the government.

“I did it, and I’m glad I did it! Ha ha haha!!” he added, laughing maniacally. “I charged him £160, and he left a £40 tip!”

Home Office officials say that St. Julian also implicated the Prime Minister’s tailor, who has reportedly fled the country and and applied for asylum in Khazakhstan.

For his part, the PM denied any prior knowledge or involvement of the latest round of arrests.

“It’s an absurd question,” he said in remarks outside his residence. “We all need let the police do their job to keep Britain safe from the threat of terrorism and embarrassment. And if you ask me that again, you’re going straight on my list.”

Ayckroyd said the recent arrests were “the tip of the iceberg” of a growing conspiracy of home-grown sleeper cells throughout Britain, containing elements openly contemptuous of Brown. He appe...

Home Office officials say that St. Julian also implicated the Prime Minister’s tailor, who has reportedly fled the country and and applied for asylum in Khazakhstan.

For his part, the PM denied any prior knowledge or involvement of the latest round of arrests.

“It’s an absurd question,” he said in remarks outside his residence. “We all need let the police do their job to keep Britain safe from the threat of terrorism and embarrassment. And if you ask me that again, you’re going straight on my list.”

Ayckroyd said the recent arrests were “the tip of the iceberg” of a growing conspiracy of home-grown sleeper cells throughout Britain, containing elements openly contemptuous of Brown. He appealed to citizens to report to terror police any “suspicious mockery or political delinquency.”

Who is ultimately behind the plot is so far unknown, but Ayckroyd said the Terror Police have a solid lead.

“We have received tips from several reliable sources about the identity of the terror mastermind responsible for exposing the Prime Minister to these vicious and savage acts of embarrassment,” said the spokesman. “We don’t know his name, but can confirm that his initials are G.B.”