cont: scrolling down through blank screens for ten minutes, I finally reached a footnote condemning the signatory to eternity of suffering in Hell. Needless to say, my client did not install Corel Painter, and stuck with Photoshop instead."

Officials at Hell were unrepentant about the practices.

"Don't blame us if you don't read the contract," said Beelzebub. "It's just the way we operate down here. It's nothing personal."

But accoding to Beefy, the damnation clauses represent a shift in soul-gathering that is bad for the consumer.

"In the old days, the Forces of Evil might offer seven years of wealth or wishes in exchange for a soul. These days, all you get is some buggy software. And t...

cont: scrolling down through blank screens for ten minutes, I finally reached a footnote condemning the signatory to eternity of suffering in Hell. Needless to say, my client did not install Corel Painter, and stuck with Photoshop instead."

Officials at Hell were unrepentant about the practices.

"Don't blame us if you don't read the contract," said Beelzebub. "It's just the way we operate down here. It's nothing personal."

But accoding to Beefy, the damnation clauses represent a shift in soul-gathering that is bad for the consumer.

"In the old days, the Forces of Evil might offer seven years of wealth or wishes in exchange for a soul. These days, all you get is some buggy software. And that's the real tragedy."

Points to watch out for when reading a EULA

Check for the presence of key phrases, such as "soul", "damnation", or "Hell", as well as such synonyms as "incorporeal essence", "animus", "the Abyss", "perdition", and "Hades.

Never agree to any clause which mentions brimstone.

If you must click on a button labelled "Submit", check to make sure that the words "to the will of Satan" are not printed below.

If the abbreviation EULA appears on the agreement, check that it stands for End User Licence Agreement, and not Eternity Under Lucifer's Authority.

Canceling the agreement

if you think you may have damned yourself by mistake, use this Opt Out form to cancel the agreement. (Note: if you have knowingly signed a damnation agreement in your own blood, by moonlight, on the skin of a virgin, you will need to click twice.)

Anti-Damnation Opt-Out Form
I do not wish to be damned for all time. Any written agreement I may have appear to have accepted was made without my knowledge or consent