Now let me get this straight. The Navaho folks, which probably now only number about 45 individuals or so expect me to just hand them over $10 billion in cash?"

Nooooo way! You know folks, I was born at night, but it wasn't last night. I am categorically gonna go out on a limb here and state for the recorded record that I ain't paying diddly squat.

And let me make this point perfectly clear. I want that sumbitch eyesore moved off United States property by October 15. Nobody not even the non-drinking Mormons are gonna mess with the brother here. Cause I am the 'main man' and I have been to hundreds of picnics and there ain't nobody, especially no loincloth wearing folks gonna push around this half African-American boy.

The president was so upset that one of his secret service agents had to bring him an L&M cigarette and a Bud Light Beer.

President Obama finally calmed down. He called up the Attorney General and told him to draw up the paperwork for a counter offer.

The president told Attorney General Eric Holder to offer the Navsters $7,000, half a dozen Washington Redskins jerseys, six Atlanta Braves caps, three Cleveland Indians boxer shorts, two official Kansas City Chiefs footballs, two Geronimo parachutes, three CDs by Crazy Horse (one of Neil Young's old backup bands), a Chief Rain-In-The-Face raincoat, and ten Lone Ranger and Tonto Lunchboxes.

SIDENOTE: White House Spokesperson Cal Colfax said that when the chief of the Navaho nation Chief Billy Deer Crossing received the counter offer and read it he replied, "You tell President Barracks Alabama that he can kiss my 97-year-old Navaho totem pole."