Study: Many Americans Too Fat To Commit Suicide


	Study: Many Americans Too Fat To Commit Suicide

sl0wdjin

6-8-2007 1:35 PM

820 views

tags:

humor, satire, weight

5 Comments |

Add a Comment

7-20-2007 3:58 PM

sidegik

But the fact that obesity impedes suicide is truly troubling. It appears that the more reason people have to die

obesity = more reason to die???

7-29-2007 1:29 AM

thorswitch

and in what universe is this supposed to be funny?

7-29-2007 1:53 AM

n2sooners

I thought it was funny.

7-29-2007 6:35 AM

sl0wdjin

The Onion is America's satiric newspaper. Doesn't mean everything they do will appear funny to everyone. Still, it's the place to go to for black humor. They also have their 'radio' and 'video' news sections.

The Onion headlines: "Man Vows Never To Watch Another Sci-Fi Movie With Physicist Friend" () "AL JIZAH, EGYPT -- A team of British and Egyptian archaeologists made a stunning discovery Monday, unearthing several intact specimens of "skeleton people" -- skinless, organless humans who populated the Nile delta region an estimated 6,000 years ago." () "Skywriter leaves suicide note"

7-30-2007 5:07 PM

Soulgirl

LOL - I think it's comedy gold

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/dceb2047-f252-45b7-9f76-cf01395d3c9d/815A629D-FDB2-4E20-AE51-C2B07CA70AFE/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_many_americans_too_fat_to" href="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_many_americans_too_fat_to" style="font-size: 11px;">www.theonion.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_many_americans_too_fat_to"><H2 class="title">Study: Many Americans Too Fat To Commit Suicide</H2></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_many_americans_too_fat_to">LOS ANGELES—A report published Monday in <I>The New England Journal of Medicine</I> warns that the nation's obesity epidemic has reached a new level of crisis, with many overweight Americans' increased girth rendering them physically unable to end their own, fat lives.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_many_americans_too_fat_to"><div align="center"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.theonion.com/img/A2C28368-54EE-4986-AC85-A2A83FF42A54" alt="Study Many" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_many_americans_too_fat_to">"We've known for some time that obesity can cause heart disease, diabetes, strokes, and other potentially life-threatening illnesses," said report author Dr. Marjorie Reese, director of UCLA's Obesity Pathology Clinic. "But the fact that obesity impedes suicide is truly troubling. It appears that the more reason people have to die, the less capable they are of doing so. They are literally trapped in their grotesque, blubbery bodies."</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_many_americans_too_fat_to">Of the one-third of Americans classified as obese, the report estimated 29 percent are too heavy, immobile, or both for suicide to be a viable option. This figure is up from 18 percent in 1996.</blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/815A629D-FDB2-4E20-AE51-C2B07CA70AFE/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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