When Parenting, Act - Don't React


	When Parenting, Act - Don't React

phatmommy

3-21-2007 6:05 AM

3337 views

tags:

parenting, temper, discipline

phatmommy says:

Lots of good tips in this article for handling - better yet, avoiding! - a "Mommy Meltdown."

1 Comment |

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3-21-2007 8:14 AM

egoldstein

Good advice. I especially like this...

"Yelling is usually a sign that a parent has no strategy,"

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/925e477e-6222-4cc0-9e73-0ec9cc59b7c8/7CDF6659-47A0-455C-83E9-A977C0BEF071/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://family.go.com/parenting/article-77666-When-Mom-Has-a-Temper-Tantrum-t/1" href="http://family.go.com/parenting/article-77666-When-Mom-Has-a-Temper-Tantrum-t/1" style="font-size: 11px;">family.go.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://family.go.com/parenting/article-77666-When-Mom-Has-a-Temper-Tantrum-t/1">"Yelling is usually a sign that a parent has no strategy,"
    says Thomas Phelan, a clinical psychologist in Glen Ellyn,
    Illinois</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://family.go.com/parenting/article-77666-When-Mom-Has-a-Temper-Tantrum-t/1">Samalin and Phelan recommend drawing on these following
    strategies when your kids are driving you up the wall:</blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://family.go.com/parenting/article-77666-When-Mom-Has-a-Temper-Tantrum-t/2" href="http://family.go.com/parenting/article-77666-When-Mom-Has-a-Temper-Tantrum-t/2" style="font-size: 11px;">family.go.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://family.go.com/parenting/article-77666-When-Mom-Has-a-Temper-Tantrum-t/2"><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;">
      <B>"I," not "you."</B> Avoid attacking your child with "you"
      statements"You are such a slob!" or "You'll never learn."
      Instead, think in terms of "I": "I don't like picking clothes
      up off your floor every day" or "I get upset when we're not
      on time." These are less hurtful and inflammatory.</LI></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://family.go.com/parenting/article-77666-When-Mom-Has-a-Temper-Tantrum-t/2"><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;">
      <B>Recognize what the problem is.</B> Is it really your
      child's messy room? Or are you sleep-deprived? Feeling
      overwhelmed at work? Mad at your husband or mother or boss?
      Be aware of when you are more vulnerable to anger and resist
      the urge to transfer negative feelings to your child.</LI></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/7CDF6659-47A0-455C-83E9-A977C0BEF071/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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