# In 2007, comrades in USSA will celebrate 90th anniversary of glorious people's revolution!

# "Clean your plate, dear. Another helping of roast beef and mashed potatoes will help you grow up big and strong. Then go out and play in the sunshine for a few hours. You'll thank me some day."

# Atomic-powered flying cars will free us forever from the tyranny of 29-cent-per-gallon gasoline.

# By the year 2007, every city will own a computer.

# Advanced technology allows people to play phonograph records in their cars -- with no skipping!

# Friends and colleagues deny accusations made in a new memoir that Washington Senators' slugger Fidel Castro slept with Marilyn Monroe behind Joe DiMaggio'...

# In 2007, comrades in USSA will celebrate 90th anniversary of glorious people's revolution!

# "Clean your plate, dear. Another helping of roast beef and mashed potatoes will help you grow up big and strong. Then go out and play in the sunshine for a few hours. You'll thank me some day."

# Atomic-powered flying cars will free us forever from the tyranny of 29-cent-per-gallon gasoline.

# By the year 2007, every city will own a computer.

# Advanced technology allows people to play phonograph records in their cars -- with no skipping!

# Friends and colleagues deny accusations made in a new memoir that Washington Senators' slugger Fidel Castro slept with Marilyn Monroe behind Joe DiMaggio's back.

# Due to the advent of the "meal in a pill," by the year 2000 the weight of the average American will be a trim 165 pounds.

# President Rock Hudson signs a temporary amnesty bill enabling patriotic Americans to use their Ford AstroFairlanes to visit exiled loved ones on the Communist Lunar Colony.

# Seatbelts, schmeatbelts.

# Built to last with technology of the future, the RCA black-and-white 18-inch television will remain the industry standard.

# Someday, Dwight D. Eisenhower's idiot son, John Sheldon Eisenhower, will run for president -- and win!