There are times when I wonder at the inability of so many parents who "don't get it". There is no such thing as "quality time" to parent. There's only "all the time".

I must disagree with your comment about our chance to "become the parents we wish we had." As a therapist, working with adolescents and parents almost every day. I hear so many parents wonder why THIS CHILD cannot "appreciate all I've done for him." I will not share any examples, but I certainly could.

If we could learn to be the parents each of our children need right now without surrendering our inner selves, I might be out of a job. I try to help the parents I work with to understand, but often the parents they did...

There are times when I wonder at the inability of so many parents who "don't get it". There is no such thing as "quality time" to parent. There's only "all the time".

I must disagree with your comment about our chance to "become the parents we wish we had." As a therapist, working with adolescents and parents almost every day. I hear so many parents wonder why THIS CHILD cannot "appreciate all I've done for him." I will not share any examples, but I certainly could.

If we could learn to be the parents each of our children need right now without surrendering our inner selves, I might be out of a job. I try to help the parents I work with to understand, but often the parents they did have left so many scars it's hard for them to "get it." We cannot improve our childhood by working on our children. I've never seen that approach work. With clearly established boundaries and respect for the individuality of each other, parents and children would survive these teen years as adults with a good chance to live an engaging and authentic adult life.

Thank your for your words. Maybe it's the late hour, but I fear so few people will care what either of us have said.