The Heretic (#44 out of 75)

I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"

Why shouldn't I?" he said.

"Well, there's so much to live for."

"Like What?"

"Well, are you religious?"

he said yes.

I said, "Me, too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me, too!" Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me, too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me, too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God!"

"Me, too! Are you original Baptist Church of God or Reform...

The Heretic (#44 out of 75)

I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"

Why shouldn't I?" he said.

"Well, there's so much to live for."

"Like What?"

"Well, are you religious?"

he said yes.

I said, "Me, too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me, too!" Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me, too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me, too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God!"

"Me, too! Are you original Baptist Church of God or Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

"Me, too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God reformation of 1879 or Reformed Baptist Church of God reformation of 1915?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God reformation of 1915."

I said, "Die, heretic!" and pushed him off the bridge.

I tried to clip this, but clipmarks didn't let me clip just a part of a pdf document.

It was on his 1985 album E=mo². What really surprised me was that I could actually find a transcription of the joke posted on the web. Apparently, in addition to accolades from GQ, a British website voted it best religious joke of all time. Here's some other examples of his religious humor:

· When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised, the Lord doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me ... and I got it!

· So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon."

· A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits...

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It was on his 1985 album E=mo². What really surprised me was that I could actually find a transcription of the joke posted on the web. Apparently, in addition to accolades from GQ, a British website voted it best religious joke of all time. Here's some other examples of his religious humor:

· When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised, the Lord doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me ... and I got it!

· So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon."

· A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."

· When I was a kid my dad would say, "Emo, do you believe in the Lord?" I'd say, "Yes!" He'd say, "Then stand up and shout Hallelujah!" So I would ... and I'd fall out of the roller coaster.