"You'll notice the change in just a few weeks", stated Fartologist, Mariah Ballbouncer. "Plus you'll get some cash that will help spur the economy."

How much cash?

One estimate is that a good size fart bag full to exploding is worth a fiver, a fin for a fart.

Once again, Spokesman Al Gore was quoted as saying: "A mask will be supplied to anyone who doesn't want to be recognized. I assume that that will be the ladies as guys actually seem proud of polluting our air. I guess it's a macho thing, something I have never had trouble with."

The U.S. Congress is expected to vote on the tissue...issue just as soon as President Obama returns from his vacation, but do wish to warn the public not to be "saving them up" as they could injure themselves.