 merrie says: As the Conscience of the Senate, I have led the fight to win comprehensive national medical benefits for you and other vulnerable Boiler Room Girls who have been denied coverage by their heartless employers. I fervently believe we're all on this boat together. Okay, Oldsmobile. Now, if you'll just let go of my arm, I'll make a break for it and continue the fight for your health care rights back at my lawyer's office. Ow! Jesus! That fucking hurt! Come on now, Baby. Let's all just calm down, take a shallow breath, and look at our heath care predicament rationally. We obviously can't both stay here in our current plan, and if we both opt out of our windows at the same time it will sink the entire system. Even if we both made it out, there will be difficult questions and bureaucratic forms and red tape. Like I also told you back at the party, my wife doesn't understand me. And she sure as hell won't understand this. Obviously the answer is some sort of window rationing system where . . . one of us waits here while the other one swims for a comprehensive solution for both of us. Did I mention I was on the Pi Eta swim team? We won 3rd place at the Harvard Greek intramurals in ‘53. Ow! Fuck! Stop screaming your crazy bitch, you’re using up the oxygen. See? I’m only thinking about what’s best for you. Look, I know you have misgivings about some aspects of my plan, but the time for debate is over. As a passionate advocate for health care reform, I will have the details and alibis worked out by the time I get to the Sherriff’s station. As soon as I call my lawyer and get a couple cups of coffee, I will demand they dispatch rescue vehicles back here, with CPR-certified dive... |
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