I was told by a friend several years ago he made love to his wife and she told him afterwards she hoped he enjoyed it because that would be the last time. I thought it was the saddest thing I've ever been told, but I don't think it's that uncommon.

I believe the passion for life and love are interconnected. Perhaps the affection, love and trust I have experienced with a lover has made the mind/body connection so profound that I can't quite express it in words.

"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."
— Kahlil Gibran (Love Letters in the Sand: The Love Poems of Khalil Gibran)

Sex might be good for a marriage but there is more to marriage than sex. When the wife is constantly put down, compared to others and found lacking, Beaten and belittled. When there is no love or affection or a kind word, sex is requested by "You want to fool around." (That's a real turn-on) . Then damn straight, sex is going to go out the window.

Tany?
I really want to respond to that. Of course you are right. I think seduction goes on all day long and beyond sexuality. It is respect, love, kindness, and genuine affection for the other person. The last thing I want is for people to think of this clip as just about sex. It is about so much more than that. We do not hurt or harm those we cherish, hold dear and treasure. Love is so important Tany, because without it life has no meaning or purpose. I am sorry some people in your life chose to treat you badly. You most certainly did not deserve it and I think you are a wonderful person worthy of love. I certainly love you dearly as a friend

Thank you debby.

Resentment causes this I believe.

I resent the heck out of my husband. I was not some wide eyed, naive young thing when I hitched myself to his wagon.

He lied. Then he showed his true, me first, elitist face.

After I bought a fixer upper with him, got pregnant and married.

Now, I'm in a marriage I hate, no money to leave and a daughter that I sincerely do not want to bring up under divorce. I did that 20 years ago and cannot believe I find myself at the same point again.

I wish I could be in a sexless marriage. Instead I pay for peace with just enough to keep him from being a total ahole.

How stupid is that?

Sometimes people do what they feel they have to in order to survive Gemfem. I certainly don't feel it's stupid. At least you are honest and that's the first step toward eliminating bondage.