LOL Some of these were great.

6. Hang up immediately.

yes am? what do you do?

um.. I am afraid to ask but.. what lucky people?

https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

The bitter side of all these: Usually, the telemarketer at the other side of the phone is a poor guy who feels just happy to find a job and maybe he could pay this month's rent and other bills if he performs well. Sad things.

I usually just recite the "do not call" list thing of which I am on. I understand they have a crappy job but the NY Times has called me almost everyday for two weeks now. Tonight I told them if I hear from them again they'll simply get my lawyers number in response.

The annoying thing is that the Brotherhood of Police, or whatever they are called, is exempt from *do not call*, as are all "charities." These *fake* charities hire for profit soliciters who take upwards of 80% of what they collect.

A hangup is the easiest solution.

I always liked Seinfeld's method. He would cut them off in mid-sentence and tell them "I'm very busy at the moment but if you'll leave me YOUR home number, I call YOU when I'm free."

That's why G*d invented call screening.

I have a solution that works well, if I do pick up the phone, but not too many people here can use this trick - simply respond to what's stated in Russian... works great...

I'm keeping this by the phone. I am on the do not call list.. and it works. But I'm looking forward to a telemarketer now.

Sage, teach me some Russian!!

Someone told me once that he just lays the phone down and goes on about his business while the TM goes on with his shpiel. I've BEEN a TM, and I still don't really have any sympathy for 'em!

Ask them if your finger smells like poopie and you MUST get back to what you were doing.

BBW, there are some simple ones, that are easily memorable, like 'idiot'... the only exception in the Russian version is that the accent is on letter 'O', not the initial 'I' as it is in English. See, Russian is pretty simple and similar in this case.... Unfortunately, the similarity goes downhill from here... and for that - it'll be best to use some sort of voice-based solution. Jump on the yackpack and I'll start sending you word of the day. We'll start with all of the really bad words and then move up to the words that make Pushkin sound so amazing.

I just hang up. I should try some of these.

I usually tell them Kristen was in a horrible car accident and/or brain dead. Hell, they don't know I'm Kristen!

While I've never been a telemarketer, I did do some polling work for Gallup during college.

Brutal job. Hated every minute of it.

If you are on a DNC list, tell them to remove you from their list and not to call you again or you'll report them.
(the fines are stiff)

but,
if they are calling because you filled out a form on the internet or showed interest somewhere,
you gave your consent to be contacted.
so, be nice...
we all have a job to do, and this poor chap may have paid up to $3- $4 for your "lead".

but,
If they harass you, all bets are off.