The funny thing is that there are no fortune cookies in China. I just spent the whole day trying to explain them to a class full of Chinese college students, and they just could not understand what the point was. A number of them thought it sounded kind of dumb!

I for one have always wanted cynical fortune cookies that say things like:

"Confucius say: Vinnie will be waiting for you out front, take the back door!"

"This is bad week for operate heavy machinery for you"

"Now is good time to buy life insurance, while you still can."

or simply:

"Duck!"

I like the classic joke of adding "in bed" to the end of your fortune.

I got one the other day that said I need to work on my exercise program, which I do, but I was offended.

Now I park a little farther away from the front door when I go to that restaurant for a longer walk.

Wait a minute, I clip two articles at the same time: one on passive/aggressive fortune cookies, which I admit is funny, and the other on the use of frivolous civil lawsuits to limit freedom of speech on the net, and of the two fortune cookies is the one every one pops?!? The more I clip, the less I understand!

The more I clip, the less I understand!

Funny always wins. Unless it's up against naked.

Anyone remember when Homer was writing fortunes on the Simpsons?

Homer: Let's see, "You will invent a humorous toilet lid." "You will find true love on Flag Day." "Your store is being robbed, Apu." Are you getting all this, Lisa?

Lisa: [pecking hesitantly at a Chinese keyboard]
I don't know.

Funny always wins. Unless it's up against naked.

Hey, internet censorship could be naked! You never know!

Come to think of it, do they have fortune cookies in Europe? Every time I had Chinese food in France, the answer was "Desole monsieur, quel est ce 'cookie de fortune'?"

How about one that says "That wasn't chicken." ?

Ooops... forgot about this one....

Why do you always get the one that says "What you're looking for is right under your nose" or something to that effect when you're out on a date with someone totally incompatible (I'm being nice) with you????

i am soo not a fan of chinese food, but i'll tolerate a family dinner every so often JUST b/c of the fun of the fortune cookie! I do the 'in bed' thing too-- when out with my friends...hee hee...

But there have been many times when what 'seemed' like a meaningful fortune was stuffed/saved in my wallet for years..

It's a shame that contemporary has to mean downbeat.

ouyangwulong, I think it would be a neat sociological experiment to have your class write some fortunes, bake up and insert the fortunes, have a party and see if they can guess which student was the author. Then report back to us on what happened.

Easy Recipe Link

It's a shame that contemporary has to mean downbeat.

I agree, BobbyRutan. However, I think society worldwide is more cynical (and downbeaten) today. Even local news is filled with 29 minutes of things going wrong (including traffic and weather) and 1 minute of light-hearted chuckle at the end.

It would be interesting to see what students would come up with, given no instruction on content. Would they choose funny, wise, sarcastic, or cynical?

and of the two fortune cookies is the one every one pops?!?

Hang on, ouyangwulong... This discussion might turn out to be even more interesting than freedom of speech. In fact, given all that freedom, let's examine what people do with it.

Would they use words to bolster their fellow man? Would they use words to air their own discontent? Would they use words as humor to alleviate others' discontent? Would they use words to unite or divide or observe?

I agree, it is now much more interesting than freedom of speech!

Problem is that the Chinese stir-fry everything. I'll have to use a friend's Western restaurant if I want to find an oven to bake something! The Chinese don't even have a word for baking. They just cross-apply the word for roasting.

Oh, just stuff them in a cabbage leaf instead. LOL.

The more I clip, the less I understand!

Don't worry, Austin. For all my "serious" clips, an offhand one about turkeys becomes one of my top clips. But I'm not mad. They say you got to play to your strengths...which is why it'll be nothing but birds and asses from me from here on out!

They say you got to play to your strengths...which is why it'll be nothing but birds and asses from me from here on out!

I think someone has those clips covered, Kore.

Heh.

This clip got me interested
in trying to find out who did invent the fortune cookie. The answer:
No one knows. Fortune cookies are almost certainly and American
invention – maybe they were invented in Los Angeles by a Chinese
immigrant baker, or maybe it was San Francisco by a Japanese-American
landscape architect, or maybe it was a Japanese-American baker in LA.
In 1993, Wonton Food Company began producing the treats in China,
but they have not been a huge success.

American Heritage Magazine
Model Minority