Another good point (from experience) is you have to come to terms with any perceived "wrong" that your parents did to you. In a nutshell, forgive.

My mom and I never enjoyed a good relationship-long story. But, when it became apparent that her way too short life was coming to an end, I found it within my heart to forgive her and to realize that no matter how awful I was treated, it wasn't with maliciousness and she did the best she could-as we all do.

Due to many deaths in my life of people "too young" to die, I have witnessed the reality: those that treat the departed the worse during life, are the loudest wailers and longest grievers once they are gone.

Which is why I try with all my...

Another good point (from experience) is you have to come to terms with any perceived "wrong" that your parents did to you. In a nutshell, forgive.

My mom and I never enjoyed a good relationship-long story. But, when it became apparent that her way too short life was coming to an end, I found it within my heart to forgive her and to realize that no matter how awful I was treated, it wasn't with maliciousness and she did the best she could-as we all do.

Due to many deaths in my life of people "too young" to die, I have witnessed the reality: those that treat the departed the worse during life, are the loudest wailers and longest grievers once they are gone.

Which is why I try with all my heart to not hold grudges. It doesn't mean you have to be a patsy or agree to horrible treatment--you can always avoid and walk away. When you forgive, it means that your heart has done it's best to fix things--you cannot control what others do.

Coming up on the 8th anniversary of my mom's death, and so happy that her and I found love and a semblance of a "normal" relationship while she was still with me.