There could be some political pushback about a force exclusively staffed by burly blonde males, but Democrats from the northern Midwest should be happy to have those types out of their districts for good. Expect newly minted Minnesota senator Al Franken to co-sponsor the Viking Authorization Bill, building up his defense bona fides.

"But Jon, why use swords, clubs and battle-axes when we have a modern, well-equipped Navy already in the region?" First Ninjas, now this? You sir, are a foreign policy dilettante.

Sure, we could send a destroyer to sink a fleet of Somali dinghies, but where's the fun in that? In politics, perception is reality and Vikings vs. Pirates is flat-out COOL.

Can you imagine the YouTube videos? Cable news would help fund the initiative just for the ratings boost.

Exurban League calls on President Obama to do the right thing for our country, free trade and our entertainment: Use Vikings to kill the Pirates. If not for us, Sir, then for the children.