• The Amish are relocated en masse to unelectrified penal colonies in Alaska because they refuse to pledge allegiance to anyone but God; they fail to accept that Obama is God. Unlike other deportations, this one saves the People's State money because the Amish are pacifists. Their formerly productive farmland is redistributed to ACORN staff and people George Soros likes (until he quits liking them; people do not think about what happens after that). Results similar to those in Zimbabwe fail to be reported in the state media.

• The Amish are joined by those Rastas too stoned to fight back, although some Rastas merely remain under state suspicion after conceding that, as per Bob Marley, "the Almighty God is a living man" refers not to Haile Selassie but Barry Obama.

• The Red Cross becomes the Red Circle (aka the Red 'O') and blood donations become mandatory. Those without recent donations are denied bread rations.

. Mandated "volunteer" camps teach youth educational value of