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Funny Answerphone Messages
krysk
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1
11-24-2008 11:27 AM
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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/700619b3-0430-4a83-9a50-5905490e4e22/36B804FE-729D-4BB9-8A0C-71D699DEA1F3/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm" href="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm" style="font-size: 11px;">www.goodquotes.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">"Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can."</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The </FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep...</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you. </FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hello, this is your local zoo. Do you like animals? We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower? (The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbor's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants.") </FONT></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;"> </td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/36B804FE-729D-4BB9-8A0C-71D699DEA1F3/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>
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