Funny Answerphone Messages


	Funny Answerphone Messages

krysk

11-24-2008 11:27 AM

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/700619b3-0430-4a83-9a50-5905490e4e22/36B804FE-729D-4BB9-8A0C-71D699DEA1F3/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm" href="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm" style="font-size: 11px;">www.goodquotes.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">"Hi, 
          you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star 
          system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can."</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">You 
          are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color 
          collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This 
          is no ordinary answering device; this is "The </FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">As 
          the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You 
          begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to 
          an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on 
          the answering machine... You hear a beep...</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hello, 
          this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and 
          number, I'll be right with you. </FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm"><FONT size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hello, 
          this is your local zoo. Do you like animals? We are experiencing severe 
          problems with hot water. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring 
          our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower? (The most common response: 
          "Well, sure, but my neighbor's bathroom is bigger and better equipped 
          to handle elephants.") </FONT></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/36B804FE-729D-4BB9-8A0C-71D699DEA1F3/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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