The following are stolen from the comments on Pharyngula.

Agnostics: Oh I don't believe that two plus two equals anything but four. But, I'm not one of those people who swear it's four.

Mormon: Two plus two equals SEVEN. I had proof, but an angel took it and flew to heaven.

Gould: Two plus two can equal four, but it can also equal five. It really depends on the level of twos you use. We all just have different but non-overlapping values for two.

The odds of 2+2 equaling precisely 4 out of all the possible numbers it could equal is less probable than a tornado blowing through a junkyard and assembling a Boeing 747.

Zen Buddhist: We are all one. 2+2 = 1.
...

The following are stolen from the comments on Pharyngula.

Agnostics: Oh I don't believe that two plus two equals anything but four. But, I'm not one of those people who swear it's four.

Mormon: Two plus two equals SEVEN. I had proof, but an angel took it and flew to heaven.

Gould: Two plus two can equal four, but it can also equal five. It really depends on the level of twos you use. We all just have different but non-overlapping values for two.

The odds of 2+2 equaling precisely 4 out of all the possible numbers it could equal is less probable than a tornado blowing through a junkyard and assembling a Boeing 747.

Zen Buddhist: We are all one. 2+2 = 1.

Trinitarians: 1+1+1=1

Fundamentalist: 2+2=4 because God says so.
Moderate Theist: 2+2=4 because God set it up so it would.
Moderate Atheist: 2+2=4 because that's how it works out.
Radical Atheist: Let me introduce you brain-dead losers to something known as, "number theory".

Creationist: I fully understand that 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 1 = 3... but no matter how much time you give you can't get to 1000! I fully believe in micromathmatics but macromathmatics is just a religion.

Christian: 2 + 2 = 5, everybody knows Hitler believed that 2 + 2 = 4.

Militant Theist: "I came to know that 2+2=5 by my religion, yet you say you know that 2+2=4 by your "science", therefore your science is just another religion! Ha!"

2+2=4, 2x2=4, 2^2=4, 2/2 x 2(2)=4. "Random coincidence" or divine plan?

2+2=4 may be an alternative to 2+2=5, but is it a POSITIVE ALTERNATIVE? How can we possibly get morality or warm fuzzies from 2+2=4? Wouldn't everyone be better served if we believed that 2+2=5 for the betterment of society? Think of the children!

Whenever we count, 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 1 = 3 et cetera reveals a pattern. This is proof that there is an intelligent designer.

Castle Hills First Baptist School
MATHEMATICS
Students will examine the nature of God as they progress in their understanding of mathematics. Students will understand the absolute consistency of mathematical principles and know that God was the inventor of that consistency. Mathematical study will result in a greater appreciation of God and His works in creation.
GEOMETRY
The study of the basics of geometry through making and testing conjectures regarding mathematical and real-world patterns will allow the students to understand the absolute consistency of God as seen in the geometric principles he created.
PRE-CALCULUS
The students will focus on the mathema...

Castle Hills First Baptist School
MATHEMATICS
Students will examine the nature of God as they progress in their understanding of mathematics. Students will understand the absolute consistency of mathematical principles and know that God was the inventor of that consistency. Mathematical study will result in a greater appreciation of God and His works in creation.
GEOMETRY
The study of the basics of geometry through making and testing conjectures regarding mathematical and real-world patterns will allow the students to understand the absolute consistency of God as seen in the geometric principles he created.
PRE-CALCULUS
The students will focus on the mathematics concepts that connect the thoughts of the mind with the realities of the universe, experiencing the creative power and order of God.
CALCULUS
The students will understand the basic ideas of both differential and integral calculus and its importance and historical applications. The students will recognize that God created our minds to be able to see that the universe can be calculated by mental methods.