"She then went on and on about the Police in Britain and DC with all these secret microphones really small but I refused when she told me to scream into her ass so it would cause the listener to go deaf."

"Why don't you just cut a big fart?', I asked and she said she tried but the bug kept her cheeks too far apart. I had to turn my head and laugh."

Winehouse then reportedly wanted to show Waterhouse her ass to see if the FBI had planted "a bug up her wazzo!" because it had felt odd for days.

Then, according to Waterhouse, she claimed they might be related because of their last names, Winehouse and Waterhouse.

Mrs. Waterhouse said she told her they could be and tried to be nice.

"I couldn't help asking her about the fact that she might have been probed by aliens", laughed Waterhouse. "I'm an old fart, you know that?"