About Me

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single- handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I cook 3- minute eggs in 1 minute. I was able to feed a large African village for a month with a cup of rice and a potatoe. I am an expert in watercolor, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Critic’s worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I know the exact location of every food item ...

About Me

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single- handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I cook 3- minute eggs in 1 minute. I was able to feed a large African village for a month with a cup of rice and a potatoe. I am an expert in watercolor, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Critic’s worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I don't perspire. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I breed prize- winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Romeo, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis... But I have not yet found the right girl.