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Big Surprises in CBS' Jesus Mini-Serie("Burn in Hell" version)
LorisKnight
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9-29-2007 7:49 AM
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tags:
humor
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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/f9d9f749-f051-42ef-8f87-713318c9e5c5/26347CF7-DF83-4F33-898B-B75A0BBD42E3/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.topfive.com/arcs/tx051800.shtml" href="http://www.topfive.com/arcs/tx051800.shtml" style="font-size: 11px;">www.topfive.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.topfive.com/arcs/tx051800.shtml"><OL><B><FONT face="Times New Roman" color="black"><FONT size="3" face="Times New Roman" color="black"><B> </B></FONT></FONT></B><P></P><FONT face="Times New Roman" color="black"><FONT size="3" face="Times New Roman" color="black"><LI value="12"><B><B> The Last Supper is served by Chippendale waiters. </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="11"><B><B> Loyal followers hummed "I am stuck on Band-Aid brand, 'cause our Lord's stuck on that cross." </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="10"><B><B> To keep TV-G rating, instead of nailed to the cross Christ is just slapped around a bit. </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="9"><B><B> Jesus played "footsies" with Peter during the Last Supper. </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="8"><B><B> "Virgin" Mary? Sure, but only because she had no vodka in her when she conceived. </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="7"><B><B> That camera angle when Sharon Stone as Mary Magdalene uncrossed and crossed her legs. </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="6"><B><B> Christ was actually crucified for flipping off Pontius Pilate in a bar. </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="5"><B><B> The Apostle Martha adds a lovely sprig of baby's breath to the crown of thorns. </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="4"><B><B> Literal interpretation of Scripture by producers has Jesus actually entering the City of Jerusalem on *his* ass. </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="3"><B><B> Those eighteen years of Jesus' life that the bible never talks about? Strip clubs and telemarketing scams. </B></B><P></P></LI><LI value="2"><B><B> Mary Magdalene circumcised Jesus with her teeth. </B></B><P></P><P><B><B><FONT color="#990033"><EM>and the Number 1 Big Surprise in CBS' "Jesus" Mini-Series...</EM></FONT> </B></B></P><P></P></LI><LI value="1"><B><B> Joseph: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." </B></B></LI></FONT></FONT></OL></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;"> </td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/26347CF7-DF83-4F33-898B-B75A0BBD42E3/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>
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