as if we didn't have enough to worry about...

Step one: Bring the fight to space. Launch a premptive attack on space itself. fight them on their territory before we have to fight them on ours.

Step Two?

Step two: search space for oil reserves.

Step Three: Liberate what is left of space by destroying all of space's self respect.

Step Four: Hold free and fair elections. Give space the power to rule over itself after decades of oppression (continue search for oil)

Step Five: The pupet governmet of space agrees to allow the US to continue attacking the evil insurgency factions of space with what ever force the US deems necessary.

damn space

Step Six: Congress writes a supplemental $472 billion check to support the continued war effort and reconstruction efforts.

Halliburton subsidiary OURS (Ozone Unlimited Reconstuction Services) receives $45 billion to build a prison-in-orbit outside the reach of those pesky Geneva conventions.

The EU responds by forcing an extension of the conventions to apply to "space combatants."

Step Seven: Make sure to call the liberal media for what it is - a bunch of lefty loony space lovers. Be sure to point out how much of the big media organizations are named after space: Boston Globe, Chicago Sun Times, Star magazine. A southern congressman should move forward with a bill to ban MySpace.com, and come up with a catchy slogan like "Neptune is French" or something similar.

Step Eight: Start renaming all Unamerican products that once bore space-friendly names. For instance, change the name of the plant Venus Fly Traps to Freedom Fly Traps.

Step Nine: Bill O'Reilly urges if "Michale Moore like space so much, then why doesn't he just move there."

Step Ten: Buy Duct Tape, lots of it.